From the Vault: Novo Nordisk's "Captain Novolin" Nightmare
A reader wrote to me to complain that Pfizer was not a pioneer of drug-based video games, as I asserted its "Viva Cruiser" effort was for Viagra. She said:
There was a game that Novo Nordisk put out about 15 years ago to promote their insulin called Captain Novolin. It was on the SuperNES platform and featured a diabetic superhero who fought off evil sugary treats. It also featured mini quizzes about diabetes facts.Novo Nordisk was indeed the progenitor of a 1992 diabetes video game. Even better, Captain Novolin has carved out for himself a small role in history -- as one of the worst video games ever made. Here's the Wikipeda entry:Although an internet game aimed at impotent adult men isn't completely comparable to an educational Nintendo game trying to teach juvenile diabetics about taking care of themselves, I wouldn't exactly say that advergaming is a new move for pharmaceuticals -- just one that is slow to pervade the market since its original introduction.
Captain Novolin is a Super Nintendo game starring the eponymous superhero who has diabetes.It's actually ranked as the fourth-worst game of all time by this guy.Captain Novolin is the only one who can stop the alien Blubberman and rescue the mayor of Pineville. He rides a speedboat and needs to avoid the alien invaders who have turned themselves into junk food while eating healthy meals to keep his blood glucose within a safe zone. Players earn bonus points by correctly answering multiple choice questions about diabetes (the correct answers of which are given at the beginning of levels).
The game was sponsored by Novo Nordisk, makers of Novolin brand insulin.
It is widely regarded as one of the oddest and worst video games ever made. Novolin doesn't have any apparent means of attack (he can stomp enemies by pressing down when he jumps, but this isn't immediately obvious), and the player will find difficulty in avoiding many of the enemies. In some cases, it is impossible to avoid enemies without taking damage.
When gamers dislike something, they really dislike something. That's why there's now a small collection of YouTube videos created by people who still, to this day, cannot get over how horrible the game was. (If you want an unadorned look at the gameplay, click here.) Here are some reviews from users:
I played this at a doctor's office once. I cried. In laughter. - gigametajoe From this game I have learned that if you touch diabetic people they will get severly injured. - Davoidbot One of my friends is diabetic and was actually forced to play this game when he was a kid, repeatedly!!! he still has nightmares about it. - Swervedriver007 A videogame full of enemies starring a helpless, diabetic hero. Yes, it sure tought kids how to eat right, but... it surely gave them a frustration even more harmful than diabetes itself. - molondrongoNot everyone hated it:
They made me play this game in the hospital 12 years ago when I was 7 and was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I thought it was awesome. I remember beating it! - punkrawkpunk88But what I recommend is that you search for the game yourself on YouTube. You'll find players have recorded themselves playing the game while they crack wise about its faults. Warning: Some of these contain four-lettered words, so if you're in cubicle-land right now wear your headphones. One of my favorites goes like this:
It's a load of ass! -- Not the cops, not Batman, but this idiot ... Honestly, a super hero who could die from having too many powerups -- it makes you wonder, couldn't a guy without diabetes have saved the mayor?