Do Clothes Make The Mole?

It is said that clothes make the man. But in today's political minefield, they are more likely to destroy him. First it was that dress. That basic blue, Gap number (DNA included) that nearly brought down a president. Now a pair of khakis threatens the sanctity of the 2000 presidential race.

We all remember Monica's dress. The one piece of evidence that called into question - beyond a reasonable doubt - President Clinton's ability to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. One day, presumably in the not too distant future, the infamous blue rag will be transferred from a grand jury evidence locker to the Smithsonian. There, it will remain a symbol of what became of our country for one year, when America was obsessed not with the stock market or mutual funds, but with sex, lies and videotaped depositions.

This time it's a pair of pants that has the fashionistas frothing at the mouth. Three weeks ago, Gore strategist and former Congressman Tom Downey received a tape of Bush prepping for his debate with the vice president. And the hunt was on for who sent that infamous tape. Little did anyone know that the search would end up in someone's closet.

Yvette Lozano is now the focus of what is being called Tape-gate. The assistant to GOP adman Mark McKinnon was allegedly caught on videotape mailing a package at the precise moment the FBI figures the leaked tape was sent out. But Lozano claims she was just returning a pair of Gap khakis for her boss. Could this possibly be true? Did he need a different size after too many late night pizza strategy sessions? Was she just the faithful assistant making a run to the post office? Is she, as some have warned, the Richard Jewell of Campaign 2000? Or is she part of a more nefarious plan that failed?

Of course, if there were a mole inside McKinnon's firm, it wouldn't be a complete surprise. McKinnon is a Democrat. He worked for Ann Richards when she ran for a second term as Texas governor against a guy named George W. But then the question is how would he or someone in his office have gotten hold of such a tape? Or was the tape planted by someone in the Bush campaign, meant to throw the Gore people off course? Could it be that Lozano's trip to the post office was just a hapless coincidence?

So far, the FBI isn't saying. Agents this week seized Lozano's computer as evidence, but didn't make any arrests. Will the FBI, already under fire for scandals like Wen Ho Lee and Richard Jewell, actually make an attempt to get to the bottom of this before election day? Odds are they won't. Both the FBI and its parent, the Justice Department, are treating this scandal like a hot potato. No one wants to touch it for fear of getting burned. And given the tendency for political scandals to focus on clothes, don't expect anyone to put on an apron or pick up a pot holder to handle this one.

If the Gap were smart, it would start an ad campaign of their own. As most editors know, scandal sells newsppers. Why not clothes?