Bonding With Grandchildren

The winter holidays are the perfect time for Grandparents to develop a bond with their grandchildren.

Amy Goyer of the AARP (formerly known as the American Association of Retired Persons) tells The Early Show that grandchildren will remember the holiday family traditions, activities and time spent with their elders long after the presents are received and long forgotten.

Goyer says the greatest gift you can give your grandchildren is your attention. She recommends grandparents listen to the young, and give the children opportunities to tell you about what's important to them - whether it's their favorite sport, their friends, a game or their favorite foods.

The holidays, Goyer says, are an ideal time to share family and cultural traditions. She says to give those traditions from your childhood, and your adult children's past to the grandchildren. If they've died off, resurrect them for the current kids. Goyer also recommends starting new traditions. Try telling a certain story before bedtime, singing a family song, taking a family drive, or having an annual family game night.

Here are some of Goyer's ideas to develop bonds between Grandparents and grandchildren:

• Have a story telling night
  Re-tell the funniest thing that ever happened to you; remember a favorite holiday experience; tell a story about your experience in school or your first job; tell stories about your adult children (kids love funny or embarrassing stories); tell some family history that explains your ancestors' origins; and explain the origin of your family traditions.
• Read to your grandchildren
  Make this your family's annual ritual. Read to the children or have them read to you.
• Looking at old photos or making scrapbooks
  Look at the family photos - including the old-time photos, photos of the grandchildren's parents growing up, photos of your childhood and more recent photos that include the grandchildren.
• Have a family play
  Young kids love musicals. Assign the children roles and rehearse with them. It would be fun for everyone.
• Watch holiday family movies/videos
  Family movies are great ways to tell family stories with visual aids. If the family would like a traditional movie, go to a movie theater and make it an annual tradition.
• Bake or cook
  Many family traditions and rituals include meals and special foods. Pass down your favorite recipes to your grandchildren. Include them in the cooking process.
• Decorate the home
  Save some of the decorating for your grandchildren. Have them help make the holiday look festive and make a party out of it with music and special treats. Try using decorations that are from another country so the grandchildren can learn about traditions around the world. Also, with your grandkids, decorate the bedroom they'll be staying in. Use Christmas lights, a small personal Christmas tree and special sheets and pillows.
• Make art or craft
  Teach the kids to knit and crochet; make glass-ball paint swirl ornaments and paper snowflakes.
• Play Games
  Children love to play games, so have a family game night and get out all the board games. Play games that incorporate drawing, acting, addition/subtraction and anything else that stimulates the mind. Teach the grandchildren a game or have them teach you a game they know.
• Participate in outdoor activities
  Be a role model for keeping physically active. Take your grandchildren shopping for presents for their parents. Play a sport. Get miniature golf clubs and teach the little ones to putt, or go golfing with older grandchildren. You can also try fishing or even horseshoes. You can also take a walk, walk the dogs, go for a family swim, bike ride or go Christmas caroling.
• Do volunteer work
  Teach your grandchildren the importance of reaching out to help others. Take them with you to volunteer at a local agency, homeless shelter or soup kitchen; take them to buy a special toy to give to a charity; visit a nursing home; go caroling; visit people who are isolated in their homes; shovel snow for a neighbor; take a special plate of baked goods to a friend or give to your postman; and help the grandchildren go through their toys to pick out several they can give away

When planning, Goyer says to:

• Keep it simple.
• Be flexible, allow for spontaneity.
• Have plenty of activities planned, but don't over schedule.
• Alternate physical activity with more sedentary/quiet or focused activities. After a couple hours of baking or making crafts, get moving.
• Give children choices of activities, but don't overwhelm them with too many choices.
• Check with their parents first. Ask about any rules or safety issues. Ask for input about your activity ideas and the abilities of your grandchildren.
• Activities should be ability-appropriate because children have different abilities and older adults may be impaired by arthritis, stroke impairment and other health problems.
• Emphasize the process less than the product and outcome. Don't be a perfectionist. Your grandchildren will be happier if you let them be creative without worrying about doing it exactly right. The important thing is the interaction and the fun factor. Remember you're building relationships with your grandchildren.