'Bare Knuckle Negotiation'

It seems so much of life involves negotiating, whether it's for a new purchase, a better business deal or even which movie to see. But are you getting the best results?

Famed divorce attorney Raoul Felder has spent 40 years negotiating million-dollar settlements for his famous clients. His new book, "Bare Knuckle Negotiation," is full of tips to help everyone get the most out of every deal.

He tells The Early Show co-anchor Hannah Storm, "In divorce, you're starting off with two people who ostensibly hate each other, don't want to negotiate. So it's a bit different than the ordinary case in which people who do want to negotiate, do want to get somewhere. It's because they lack the skills. They lack the interpersonal approach to it. They don't have all the weapons at their disposal, but they are unable to do it and many of these people end up in court or unhappy. They get nowhere."

Here are a basic tips to keep in mind:

Reasonable and Flexible Language

"Words are weapons. You can make love with words, make enemies or kill with words," Felder explains, "If people say, 'I'll give you so much,' you can say, 'I assume you're reasonable, flexible.' You complimented them. So that's a good way to start."

Never Want Too Much

Felder says, "Bob Evans said: 'The only way to make a deal is to be ready to blow the deal.' A very rich man once told me - I said, 'How did you get all these buildings?' He said, 'You know, I never wanted anything too much.' That's a secret of life. If you don't want too much, it gives you a sense of balance."

Be Prepared

Felder notes, "Every negotiation, whether you're talking to your boss about a raise or working out vacations, you got to know your subject matter. I negotiated with my son where he's going to go to college. The trouble is, he knew more about it than I did. I couldn't answer the question. You got to know the subject matter. You got to know the person you're dealing with. Today you've got the Internet. It's wonderful what you can find out."

Common sense

Felder encourages others to just ask because there might be some leeway. He notes, "You've got to have no sense of shame. And once you get that, you can get anywhere."

Currently, he is representing David Gest in his high-profile split from Liza Minnelli. About the case he says, "It was a learning experience for me and I hope for America. I wrote a book about domestic violence of women. I never knew there were that many cases a year in domestic violence against men. It's an unspoken dilemma in America. Hopefully by the time this case is over and you see the kind of battering he's sustained, people learn about that subject."

Read an excerpt from Chapter One.

LIFE IS A MINEFIELD

I have wanted to write a book about negotiation for a long time because life is a minefield. A person who does not know how to negotiate the perilous landscape of life can end up unhappy emotionally, legally, or economically, and can suffer personal damage to pride and self-esteem.

Several books have been published about the art of negotiation. To be blunt, these tomes are garbage, often written by university professors who have learned what little they know —or think they know— from other books written by similar academicians. None of these people have labored with insight or acumen in the field.

True to the way the United States conducts business, corporations that look for a negotiator often turn to academia. They rely on the false premise that somebody who is a professor in a particular subject must be proficient. The expert takes the assignment and then uses the work as confirmation of ability to perform such tasks. The process represents a perfect circle of the blind teaching the blind, who are then hired by the gullible. Throw those books away!

I have negotiated billions of dollars, most often paid by a person who would have preferred to pay nothing. I have negotiated settlements for homes and boats, interests in businesses, patents, pets (including a parrot, Scottish terrier, and a boa constrictor), furniture, jewelry, and a piece of the Berlin Wall; child custody and visitation rights; monies that allegedly did not exist; free airline miles; vehicles (from a Rolls-Royce and electric scooters to a private railroad car and a Boeing 727 airplane); the value of legal, medical, and veterinary practices; who will do the dishes; where
people will live or work; who will pay for hair plugs; the dollar value of celebrity in every profession from authors to movie stars; membership in country clubs, rubber rooms, and S&M dungeons; and collections of items ranging from toy trains, antique weather vanes, and biscuit tins to antique armor.

I am familiar with razor-sharp applications of negotiation skills for all occasions, legal and otherwise. Over the years, I have learned many proved and successful negotiation practices and have invented several new ones. Some of the concepts involve straightforward common sense and a few are devious and cunning. But they all work; take my word for it.

When people brag about their ability to negotiate, they often sound like people who boast about how they perform sex. They proudly proclaim how well they do it—but just completing the act does not mean it was a bravura performance.

Negotiation is both an art and a skill. A truism is that some people have the ability to negotiate and others do not. In more than 40 years of practicing law, I have witnessed some of the great negotiators in action and have seen firsthand the favorable results of their expertise.

GAINING POWER

I graduated from the New York University Law School in 1959 and practiced law with my father from 1959 to January 1961. Then I joined the Department of Justice headed by Attorney General Robert Kennedy. I became a prosecutor in the U.S. Attorney's office and was a member of the nation's first Organized Crime Task Force. I was also in charge of Federal Juvenile Delinquency, prosecuting for a geographic area that included millions of people.

During my introduction to the practice of criminal law, I became aware that defense lawyers had no power; the legal deck, so to speak, was stacked in favor of the government. Prosecutors tended to move forward those cases they were confident of winning; it was the "shooting the fish in the barrel" syndrome. When I practiced in the U.S. Attorney's office, most of the
prosecutors wanted to try drug cases because if they could present drug evidence to the jury, it was sufficient to convict the defendant.

Once while summing up to a jury, I held up a large glassine bag containing a substantial amount of heroin. I had thought that it would be dramatic to have it passed around the jury (which did not happen). During summation, therefore, I dangled the bag about a foot over the table in front of the jury box. Then, in an attempt to be even more shocking, I dropped it on the table. I wanted the jurors to hear and remember a resounding thud that
would reinforce the large quantity of heroin inside. When the bag hit the table, however, it burst open, splattering the white powder over the jury and me. One might believe that this was one of the happiest juries ever impaneled.

In the 1960s, U.S. prosecutors with weak or unwinnable cases developed methods to decline prosecution. To make this happen, the prosecutor had to go through the pecking order at the federal headquarters of the Department of Justice. The paradox was that some of the lawyers who sat in positions of authority at the department —those who could yea and nay the prosecution of a case—had little or no prosecutorial experience. Often these attorneys
worked at Justice because of political clout. Therefore, if a lawyer could forward enough convoluted reasons for not prosecuting the case, the request to drop it usually would receive approval. Another delaying method at Justice was to change the tasks for each case every month. To hold up action, lawyers would write, "awaiting Grand Jury action," "interviewing witnesses," or "researching the law." Attorneys could prevent cases moving forward until they left the Department.

DEFENSE LAWYERS

Through my prosecutorial work, I came to appreciate the conduct and tactics of defense lawyers, which opened my eyes to the power of negotiation. These attorneys had to possess superior negotiation skills because often a plea bargain presented the only realistic chance to reduce their clients' sentences. Today, the obligatory minimum sentencing laws mandated by state and federal statutes have made plea skills even more necessary. The process
has become a Hobson's choice for defense lawyers: Take a plea bargain or roll the dice for acquittal. But if they lose the case, the client can go to prison for many years.

The so-called Court Street defense lawyers in New York City handle nickel-and-dime blue-collar crime and low-end narcotics. These street-smart legal practitioners have been toughened in the legal trenches, and they know how to speak on behalf of their clients. They receive the same fee (essentially, all a poor client can afford) whether they negotiate a plea bargain or the case moves to trial.

OTHER TYPES OF LAWYERS

Some corporate lawyers possess poor negotiation skills. They work for the rich and powerful and occasionally forget whose money is at stake. These attorneys seem reluctant to put on the gloves and mix it up with a legal adversary because tough bargaining is beneath them. Their attitude is that give-and-take negotiations of the hard kind should occur in a criminal law
practice and not a prestigious Wall Street or Park Avenue firm. I also have observed that new lawyers are often knowledgeable about the law but do not understand the how and why of negotiations. These neophytes are equipped with erudite skills to argue law in front of the Supreme Court, but regrettably, they cannot find their way to the courthouse. They soon learn that most cases are settled through discussion and most disputes do not go to trial. I find it incongruous that law schools do not offer specific courses in negotiation although the greater part of American law seeks the private resolution of disagreements to prevent the parties ending up in a verdict after trial...

Reprinted with permission from John Wiley & Sons, Inc.