A Day In The Life Of Joke Of The Day
Do an AltaVista search on "Joke Of The Day," and a good 4009 documents match your query.
And so, in deference to web humor, we present A Day In The Life Of Joke Of The Day, March 5, 1998 – a discriminating collection.
From kule.com
Kyle Noyb sent us theTop Ten changes at NASA to accommodate 76-year-old John Glenn's flight aboard the shuttle Discovery:
10. All important devices now operated by the Clapper.
9. Shuttle's thermostat set at 80 degrees.
8. Shuffle board installed in cargo bay.
7. "Early Bird" specials included on menu.
6. One monitor specifically designated for Matlock.
5. Little bowls of candy scattered randomly about the ship.
4. Top speed of shuttle set at 25 miles per hour.
3. Installed a new bifocal windshield.
2. Space pants now go up to armpits.
1. Left-blinker left on for entire mission.
From Bruce H.G. Calder's Joke-Of-The-Day:
"Four engineers traveling in a car; a mechanical engineer, a chemical engineer, an electrical engineer, and a computer engineer. The car breaks down. "Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. We'll have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again," says the mechanical engineer. "Well," says the chemical engineer, "it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system." "I thought it might be a grounding problem," says the electrical engineer, "or maybe a faulty plug lead." They all turn to the computer engineer who has said nothing and say: "Well, what do you think?" "Ummm. Perhaps if we all get out of the car and get back in again?"
From A Joke Of The Day:
Q. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.
From Surf Madison:
A guy is walking down the street carrying an aardvark. A lady approaches and stops. Looking at the animal, she says, "Wow! What is that?"
The man replies, "It's an aardvark."
The lady says, "Well, where'd ya get him?"
The guy says, "I found him."
"Well, don't you think you should take him to the zoo?", asks the lady.
"I did," replied the man. "Now we're on our way to the symphony."
From A Joke Of The Day:
God calls Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton, and Bill Gates into his office and says, "The world will end in 30 days. Go back and tell your people." So, Boris Yeltsin goes to the Russian people and says, "I have bad news and I have worse news. The bad news is that we were wrong, there is a God. The worse news is that the world will end in 30 days." Bill Clinton goes on TV and tells the American people, "I have good news and I have bad news. The good news is that the basic family values upon which we have based our lives on are right – there is a God. The bad news is that the world will end in 30 days." Bill Gates goes to his executive committee and says, "I have great news and I have fabulous news. The great news is that God thinks I'm important. The fabulous news is that we don't have tship Windows 95!"
Back to The Best Yucks Of Our Lives
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum
Variety: The Spice Of Laughs
The World Weird Web
Written by Rob Medich with graphic design by Laura Holder