3 Reasons We Hate that Steve Carell is Leaving The Office

For six years, Steve Carell has captivated viewers with his portrayal of Michael Scott, Chief Executive Idiot of the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin, and now Sabre. During this time, it was easy to sleep at night because everything was in its place, and everything made sense. So many of us weren't happy when the news broke that he was leaving. We need bumbling Michael for three reasons.

1. Steve Carell nails the role of stupidity plus narcissism. Millions of working Americans face their supervisor and see a role best described by the words "I'm great, and you're not." Laughing to their face would be career damaging, as is telling them exactly what we think of them, so better to laugh at Steve Carell's epitome of the role. We'll miss looking at the television and saying to our significant other, "that idiot is so my boss!"

2. We need an idiot in charge or nothing makes sense. Michael Scott is imperative because the entire free enterprise system has, in Niall Ferguson's words, "laid another egg." And yet, Americans' belief in free enterprise rivals only its belief democracy, so when the economic system isn't zinging along, there must be someone to blame. Until recently, most of us assumed it couldn't be the smart guys on Wall Street. It also couldn't be the rank-and-file, because they're trying their best. No, it must come down to a single well-placed bad apple, that's mucking everything up. That person is Michael Scott. It's not capitalism that's failed. It's that capitalism has allowed itself to become riddled with idiots.

3. If a nice idiot is in charge, we're comforted. Since the economic meltdown, some people wonder if the financial system is run by evil--some combination of vampires, Lord Voldemort, and that Big Scary Eye from Lord of the Rings. Michael plays politics, but he does so poorly, that his true motives are revealed. Exposed, we realize we're seeing a fundamentally good person, yearning for greatness but held back by incompetence. In the end, he'll do what's right for people. The more we see a nice idiot in charge, the less we fear that our world will turn out to be post-apocalyptic. Sure, the manager is turning us into zombies, but at least at least he means well.

So, as we ready ourselves to be free of Michael Scott, let's tell him what we feel, with apologies to Jack Nicholson and anyone who had anything to do with A Few Good Men:

Son, we live in a world that has offices, and those offices need to be manned by people with ambition. Who's gonna do it? You? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in that office, you need me in that office. We use words like politics, self-promotion, spin. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very economic mediocrity that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a pen, and sit in the office with me.

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Photo courtesy Kumar Appaiah, CC 2.0.