Kiyaaaah!

Melissa prepares to release the Kraken.

During a trip to a martial arts tournament at American River College, it occurred to us: Who on our staff is more qualified to smash boards with her arm than Melissa? We decided to test our theory.

Mark Mathis' fitness quest requires some fresh air, so he sent Melissa to the park to work out with Latisha "Action" Jackson -- while Mark cheered her on from the green screen in the studio.

Alan always gets the hard jobs. Saturday's task? Manscaping and hot wax. Somebody's got to do it.