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Food To Thicken Your Waistline

Cottage cheese butt, spare tire, thunder thighs, muffin tops?  If you plan on gaining any of these fabulous terms for your body, just look at my favorite comfort foods below.  Your taste buds will thank you, but your waistline may not.


Portillo's Chocolate Cake Milkshake

One of the main ingredients in this glorious milkshake is mayonnaise.  Yes, I said that correctly, mayonnaise in a milkshake.  Mixed in with the ice cream and tiny chunks of blended cake and frosting, this milkshake will be sure to be your jeans' button breaker.

For the many suburb locations, click here.

Cheesecake Factory

Cheesecake Factory's Caesar Salad

According to the "Eat This Not That: 2011," this salad has 1,513 calories, 16 grams of saturated fat, 1,481 milligrams of sodium, and 23 grams of carbohydrates.  Didn't see that one coming did you?  Figured you always get the salad so you won't feel guilty ordering the cheesecake, right?  Sorry, I didn't mean to ruin that for you.

4999 Old Orchard Center
Skokie, IL 60077
(847) 329-8077

930 Milwaukee Ave.
Lincolnshire, IL 60069
(847) 955-2350

2020 Spring Road
Oak Brook, IL 60523
(630) 573-1800

53 Woodfield Road
Schaumburg, IL 60173
(847) 619-1090

RA Sushi

RA Sushi's "Must Have" Rolls

It's a crunchy mess in your mouth—some too big to fit with one bite, but you try anyway.  Anything tempura is a must for me.  Add cream cheese, and you have sent me to heaven.  I make the sausage neck disappear when straining to shove the Viva Las Vegas Roll in my mouth.

310 Yorktown Center
Lombard, IL 60148
Phone: 630.627.6800

2601 Aviator Lane
Glenview, IL 60026
Phone: 847.510.1100

Pizzeria Uno

Uno's Chicago Grill's Mega-Sized Deep Dish Sundae

According to Men's Health Magazine, this must-have dessert contains three-and-a-half day's worth of saturated fat and more sugar than you'd find in 14 Twinkies.  (Gross, Twinkies.)  Even while splitting this dessert four ways, which I choose not to do, you'll still take in more than twice as many calories as you would with a hot fudge sundae at McDonald's, according to the book "Eat This Not That: 2011."

619 North Wabash Avenue
Pizzeria Due
Chicago, IL 60611

49 East Ontario
Su Casa
Chicago, IL 60611

Click here to view more locations.

California Pizza Kitchen

California Pizza Kitchen's Kid's Curly Mac & Cheese

And on to my favorite comfort food—macaroni and cheese.  Swallowing the 1,038 calories and 1,651 milligrams of sodium (according to Eat This Not That 2011 edition) makes me a happy girl.  Luckily for the kids, they can burn it off faster.

4999 Old Orchard Center
Skokie, IL 60077
(847) 673-1144

551 Oak Brook Center
Oak Brook, IL 60523
(630) 571-7800

1515 Lake Cook Road
Northbrook, IL 60062
(847) 897-5106

Alycia Nicole is a concierge in the heart of downtown Chicago.

Have a favorite guilty pleasure that goes straight to your thighs?  Tell us about it below.

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