Watch CBS News

Craigslist Post Seeks Bullpen Help For Cubs

(WSCR) A clever Cubs fan has taken a new approach to help out the North Siders.

Early Wednesday morning, an ad appeared on Craigslist with the title: "RELIEF PITCHERS WANTED: CHICAGO CUBS (WRIGLEY FIELD)"

The ad goes on to say:

The Chicago National League Baseball Club ("Cubs") is seeking relief pitchers to help fill several vacancies in its bullpen, effective immediately. 

No Major League Baseball experience is required for these positions, and there is no minimum age limit. However, qualified candidates must:

* Throw a ball a distance of 60 ft., 6 in. 
* Throw strikes, preferably more often than balls.
* Be proficient in Excel, PowerPoint and Word. 
* Spit and scratch.
* Assist with groundskeeping during rain delays, and perform light housework for starting pitchers as needed.
* Not answer to the surnames "Marmol," "Wood" or "Broglio."

This is a full-time, salaried position with benefits. In 2012, the Chicago Cubs were proudly named number 29 in Fortune magazine's list of "Best Major League Teams to Pitch For," for the third consecutive year. 

Significant travel is required for this position. Perks include endorsements, groupies, dugout-level seats for all Cubs road and home games, pie-faced fans who don't give a rat's ass if you win or lose, and an excellent prescription drug plan.

To apply, send us your best "pitch" via YouTube video (email us the link) via .mov/.mv4/etc. Include name, age, experience, salary requirements, special skills, and show us what you can do on the mound.

Qualified candidates will be contacted within two weeks of this posting for an interview and possible tryout with the Cubs General Manager Of Non-Sanctioned But Essential Scouting, Jonathan Eig,

The Chicago Cubs is an equal opportunity employer and candidates for these positions will be considered regardless of gender, age, race or any previous history as fans of the Chicago American League Baseball Club ("White Sox")

View CBS News In
CBS News App Open
Chrome Safari Continue
Be the first to know
Get browser notifications for breaking news, live events, and exclusive reporting.