'Tiger Mother' Philosophy A Recipe For Success?

CHICAGO (CBS 2) - Is it too much for a kid? No play dates, no sleepovers, no TV, and no grade below an A! Yale professor Amy Chua calls it a recipe for success. In her controversial new book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother",Chua, contends American parents are pushovers.

CBS 2's Roseanne Tellez talked to a couple of women familiar with both styles of parenting and asked, is it true?

"I remember coming home from school and doing my homework already on the bus. Then I had piano and violin," 25-year-old Iris Wei recalled.

48-year-old year old Jenny Nygren wad raised in Taiwan and said, "So basically you come home, have a dinner, take a rest, and study until midnight."

Demanding, strict, and focused entirely on raising successful children is how many Asian-Americans describe their parents.

Wei's mother who would get, "Home from work at 1 or 2 in the morning sometimes and would wake me up to correct answers on my homework."

Wei teaches violin to children and performs with the Chicago Civic Orchestra. She believes Chinese parents tend to decide their child's interests for them. "Some kids would benefit from the Chinese ways I was subjected to, but others would rebel against that."

She did admit, "Sometimes there would be screaming and crying." Over time, she got her mother to compromise.

"I think we have to find the happy medium," said Sharon Hirsch who is the chief of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at the University of Chicago, who adds happiness is as important as success. "It's hard to really excel and achieve excellence if you are not truly passionate about what you're doing."

"I think it's typical mom. Want to make sure they study well, learn well and practice. That's how you get the best," according to Nygren.

Nygren said she doesn't pressure her own children that way but 7-year-old Ryan and 11-year-old Kaitlan are both A students. They also take academic advancement classes, play instruments, and are on a swim team.

Kaitlin talks about her busy schedule and said, "It's kind of rushed. I have to find time for homework."

But in the Nygren household, you get the impression, Jenny's not the tiger.

"There's an expectation. You don't just show up, if you're going to do something you put your heart into it, you make a decent try," said Nygren's husband, Matthew.

The Nygren's said it is important to push your children, but unlike the Tiger mom or dad, it is also important to recognize their interests. "We might not want them to be a musician, but we want a good part of their life to enjoy music."

Matthew adds, "If expectations are low, you never achieve anything."

The Nygrens and other Asian families CBS 2 spoke with said they are trying to pull the best from both of their cultures, encouraging hard work and dedication. But, they also want to emphasize western values such as self esteem and allowing for self-expression.

Even author Amy Chua says there needs to be a happy medium.