The Importance Of Making Plans For After Life
DALLAS (CBSDFW.COM) - Angela Dees and her husband talked informally about preparing for death and end of life issues. They had short discussions about their wishes, but it wasn't until Vernon Dees was diagnosed with leukemia in 2009 that those discussions became serious and documented.
"It was a blessing, because I had the time to kind of digest what he was telling me that he wanted," said Dees. "He knew that he could be kept alive indefinitely, but he really wanted quality of life."
Angela Dees' husband died on August 17, 2011. Vernon Dees was 40 years old. He is survived by his wife and three daughters.
Angela Dees said that having all of her husband's affairs in order allowed her the time she needed to be with their children in the days leading up to his death, and the days following his passing. Everything was taken care of with help from the staff at Baylor University Medical Center in Dallas. "It was hard," she said, "but I'm glad we did it."
Because Vernon Dees underwent two bone marrow transplants and was in the hospital for extended periods of time, the hospital helped the family develop a living will, a last will and testament and medical power of attorney. Dees said that she did not have to hire an attorney, but she encourages all of her friends to get their affairs in order now.
Angela Dees said that some of the decisions changed as her husband's health deteriorated. And his decision to be cremated was difficult for her and other family members. "He had some family members who didn't want him to do that, and he was able to be the one to share with them that that was really his desire," Dees said.
Angela Dees says her daughters are dealing with the death of their father, in part because he had numerous discussions with each of his girls. "It's so hard to do, but it's so important," Dees said. "I look at it as a way of honoring him."
Monday is National Healthcare Decisions Day. According to Baylor Healthcare System, the most common reason that surveyed staffers do not have a medical advance care program is that they plan to do it when they are older. They trust loved ones to make choices or concerns about the cost.
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