Weird Soda Reviewmake it their business to find the strangest sodas in the world. This connoisseurs of offbeat pop drinks have created their own review scale (the Weird Soda Review Index) to quantify the taste of these odd beverages. The "Quaff" rating reflects the drinks enjoyability while the "Cough" rating displays how likely the consumer is to throw up after consumption. Each scale is rated up to 5 by the Quaffmaster, 5 being a transcedent drink experience on the "Quaff" and vomitrocious on the "Cough".
This soda, the Gettin' Cool Strawberry, had a nice strawberry scent with a pale peach-orange color.
It scored a 3.5 of the quaff, 0.5 on the cough, making it refreshing and plesant, one of the finer fruit sodas according to it's reviewer with a WSRI of 3.
Tofurky and Gravy Soda
Jones Soda was known for making a few very odd flavors around the holidays. This soda packaged in a metal lunch box featuring a performing soybean circus was labeled as a vegan drink. With a muddy dark amber color and a salty turkey smell the drink had a greasy taste somewhat reminiscent of a Thanksgiving dinner.
The review team gave it a 2 for its quaff and 3 for its cough rounding out with a -1 WSRI.
Foxon Park White Birch
The next soda is the Foxon Park White Birch. With its completely clear color with a white/blue label color scheme it gives off an icy feel. Smellin exactly like a birch beer, it has a "strong scent of wintergreen. Oddly, though, it's underlaid with a savory, almost meaty smell. This is quite strange, and makes me a little afraid" said the Quaffmaster. Its taste is mainly minty with a nice sweetness balance and is very clean and a cooler minty aftertaste begins to set in after about 10 seconds.
It received a 2.5 on the quaff and a 0 on the cough because nothing about the drink was offensive in the slightest. Mark the Foxon Park with a 2.5 WSRI.
This pear soda was of a pale yellow color had looked slightly oily. A sweet scent like gum was highlighted with slight pear tones. It's taste was "surprisingly complex. Here's what happens: We begin with a cool, ever-so-slightly minty smooth flowerish sweet flavor. Pearlike flavors are present, but competing with a strong sugary tone. Slightly heady, oddly liquorlike feeling. This is followed by the development of some acidity, which actually makes it more pearlike. The acidity fades, and there is finally a sense of fruit and flowers, with a strong candy-like feeling. It's sort of the soda version of a pear Jolly Rancher" says the Quaffmaster.
3.5 on the quaff and 0.5 on the cough, a 3 WSRI.
Amy & Brian's Coconut Juice
Next up is this Coconut Juice drink made by Amy and Brian. Richard, the Quaffmaster, and lead tester for the site, describes it's initial taste as sweet and musky, with some saltiness. The salty and earthy aftertaste came in at around 7 or 8 seconds and took a while to fade detracting from its pleasant initial taste. About a minute later, another sip is taken after the aftertaste had almost completely faded which is immediately regrettable due to its sharp salty and sour taste. The third sip done in the same manner is even worse, causing the tasters stomach to clench although a minute after the taste it has a somewhat satisfying feeling.
It scored a 3 on both scales ending with a WSRI of 0.
Amy & Brian's Coconut and Lime
The sister drink to the previously poorly reviewed coconut drink adds lime juice in what seems like an attempt to cut the salty and earthy taste. It's color is slightly cloudier than the previous with a hint of the pale yellow/green from the lime. In its scent its tartiness is very evident overpowering the coconut hints. With an initial taste that is sweet the lime flavor mixes nicely with the coconut and the best news is that the negative aftertaste from the straight coconut juice is less present.
This drink gets a 3 on the quaff and a 1.5 on the cough, ending with a WSRI of 1.5.
This soda sports the interesting label of "Chilled Tango Made My Stones Shrink" with the word "stones" being printed with temerature-sensitive dye similar to the blue mountains on a Coors Light can. Its color was a light transparent red and it had a scent similar to that of cherry Jell-O according to the Quaffmaster. The taste was much more tart than the scent let on, "with an odd burning sensation similar to Pop Rocks. It goes beyond carbonation." The taste eventually devolved into a bitter medicinal cherry like taste.
1.5 on the quaff with a 2 on the cough resulting in a WSRI of -0.5.
Micoco coconut juice with pulp
The Quaffmaster described the floating bits of pulp as suspended motionless with unsettling immobility. Its scent is described as "Wow. Very weird. Not really sweet at all-faint, slightly bready or even meaty. More like pot roast, maybe? With potatoes." The taste is upsetting, being quite sweet with a "nasty undercurrent of starchiness/slight saltiness, and a texture like a thin cornstarch soup."
Expectedly, it receives just a 1.5 on the quaff and a pretty bad 3.5 on the cough with a -2 WSRI.
Sapporo Melon Cream
This soda presents a a key-lime pie color with a scent a lot like its color at one moment and a scent of bubblegum at another. The taste is more tart than the smell lets on with a slight tart/cheesiness likely coming from the milk, mixed with bubblegum and a taste very reminiscent of honeydew melon with light carbonation. Upon second thought the taste is described as "mostly bubble gum, with honeydew melon and milkiness underneath, followed by the faintest hint of cheese. Aftertaste is mostly melon and milk; the bubblegum fades fast. The cheesiness is not as unpleasant as it sounds."
The Quaffmaster gives it a 2.5 quaff and 1.5 cough, a 1 WSRI.
Goya Coconut Soda
Another coconut soda, this time made by Goya. Oddly it is entirely transparent in color with a faint coconut meat scent. Upon tasting the Quaffmaster says it starts sweet yet has an odd acidic background. The coconut meat taste is clear mixed with a faint cotton candy feel.
The quaff rating is a 3 and the cough rating is a 0.5, with a WSRI of 2.5.
With a color you would expect of an deep orange-y red and a scent similar to a candy-ish cherry like grenadine of cherry syrup it gives off a strong initial impression. But its taste as determined by the Quaffmaster was much weaker then it projected fading very fast. Its initial taste is very nice but that goes to quick leaving an odd aftertaste of "slightly burned Doritos."
Mark it down for a quaff of 3, and cough of 1 and a WSRI of 2.
Zevia Cream Soda
The Quaffmaster loves cream sodas. This passion makes the tasting and testing of cream sodas a bit difficult as they try to compete with his favorites. That said, Zevia Cream ends up scoring a 3 on the WSRI. Its french-vanilla/bourbon-vanilla scent with the very strong vanilla taste earned a 3.5 on the quaff with just a 0.5 on the cough.
Briar's Lemon Cream
This lemon cream soda had a color very similar to that of a lemonade and a very sweet scent, tart but syrupy like a lemon bar cookie. The Quaffmaster determines it to taste like a "store bought lemon meringue pie." The cream has a vanilla taste and the lemon is cool yet not too tart. The unusually light carbonation detracts from the would be syrupy texture which is nice.
Quaff goes down as 3, cough as a 1. WSRI ends at 2.