Wipe That AIG Off Your Shirt!

Back in the glory days of American Insurance Group, then Chief Executive Martin Sullivan had an image problem.

No, it wasn't the fact that his empire was about to collapse, or that he was making only $25 million a year (far less than many other CEOs). It was that AIG, the largest insurer, was virtually unknown outside the financial world. How could he make AIG a household name?
Sullivan's answer: buy the naming rights to the U.K.'s best soccer (the British mistakenly call it "football') team in the world, Manchester United. Then the top-ranked footballers would parade onto the field and play with "AIG" emblazoned on their jerseys.

As we now know, Sullivan achieved his goal of making AIG the most well-known company in the world. But today you seldom hear the name without a four-letter word attached. Sullivan packed up and left early in 2008 after the traders in its London-based Financial Products unit went wild, costing the insurer billions of dollars.

Now those same London-based traders and executives have reaped $165 million in bonuses from the unwitting American taxpayers who have bailed out AIG. People in the United States are mad as hell, but what can we do? The Brits already have our money and it appears they don't have to give it back.

Here's a suggestion. We own 80 percent of AIG. AIG still owns the naming rights to Manchester United and being the law-abiding company that it is, AIG is going to honor this contract, which runs until next spring.

So let's exercise our ownership rights as Americans. Let the guys who prance around the field in their funny shorts wear jerseys that say, "United States United!" on one side, with a big American flag on the other. Tear down the signs that say AIG and replace them with a big "USA."

And why stop with AIG? Taxpayers have also contributed $45 billion to Citicorp, one of the nation's most self-destructive banks, and Citi has written a $400 million check so that the Mets' new stadium will be called "Citi Field." Cm'on, guys....