Wedding Etiquette Made Simple

At a big wedding like Chelsea Clinton's, it can be tough to know all of the "do's" and "don'ts" of etiquette. How do you work out such a large seating arrangement? What does a wedding like this give as favors?

Never fear. On "The Early Show on Saturday Morning," Rebecca Dolgin, executive editor of TheKnot.com shared how to avoid potential blunders at your big soiree:

SEATING:
This can be the most complicated part of a wedding for the hosts and, surely, Chelsea's wedding is no exception. With 400 to 500 guests with such varied personalities and ideologies, we don't envy the wedding coordinator, Bryan Rafanelli his tough job! First of all, when you are deciding where guests sit, you should first and foremost be sensitive, especially at a wedding like Chelsea's, of seating that might cause conflict. Perhaps in Chelsea's case that's seating republicans with republicans and democrats with democrats. For the more average bride and groom, that would probably consist of separating friends who don't get along, or family members that have grudges.

There are two basic ways for the bride and groom to be seated. One is at a large head table with their wedding parties and parents. The other possibility is for the bride and groom to have their own, smaller table, called a "sweethearts" table. The sweetheart table works well for brides and grooms that come from families who have nasty divorces (it allows them to withdraw from the inevitable tension). The potential problem with sweetheart tables is that often the bride and groom end up working the room for majority of dinner, or that people come up and talk to them throughout the meal so they don't get to eat.

Chelsea's groom, Mark, has divorced parents. If parents of brides or grooms have nasty divorces to deal with, perhaps, instead of seating them together at the wedding party table, or seating them at the head table with the best man and maid of honor, give them each their own table. That way they get to enjoy their dinner and reception without having to worry about tension with their ex. They also get to be surrounded by their nearest and dearest, so their table will allow them to relax.

Another thing to keep in mind when seating your wedding are your elder guests. DO NOT put elderly guests by speakers, or close to the band. That will create serious auditory problems, and inevitably, ruffled feathers. Also, if your older guests have limited mobility, you might want to seat them somewhere that will require minimum movement -- near the bride and groom, or close to the restrooms. Keep in mind that if certain tables need to be moved to get access to the dance floor, guests with mobility issues will lose their place to sit. So make sure they are at tables that don't go away.

FLOWER ARRANGEMENTS FOR THE TABLE
Keep in mind that these flowers are going to be at the center of a table where you are asking your guests to get to know one another. A big and high centerpiece will block everyone's view of one another. For centerpieces it's best to go low and lush, or tall and skinny. That way guests can have beautiful flowers at their table without losing any conversational momentum.

PHOTO OPS
It used to be that individual tables sit for individual table portraits. No more. More often than not those photos look stagey, and it forces strangers to feign togetherness. The best photo op at weddings like this? The receiving line. Big weddings often have receiving lines at the conclusion of a ceremony, so that the bride and groom are guarunteed a good photo op with the bride and groom and their families. Sure it's a bit traditional, but with so many guests it's the best way to guarantee your guests a minute of face to face time to congratulate the bride and goorm. The receiving line is traditionally done right after the ceremony or at the very beginning of a reception. They traditionally consist of the bride's parents. As hosts, they are often first in line. Then the bride and groom and finally the groom's parents.

WEDDING FAVORS FOR GUESTS
Favors are nice tokens for guests, but you don't actually have to give something material. We are predicting that Chelsea and Mark will actually do a charitable donation in lieu of a traditional favor. After all it can be a bit ostentatious for them to spend $3 million to $5 million on a wedding and for $60,000 of that to be wedding favors. If they do opt for an actual favor (for instance a bottle of wine from the Clinton Vineyards) we still see them pairing it with a charitable donation on behalf of their guests. Plus, charitable favors are the hot trend with celebrities these days.

OPEN BAR
At a wedding like this, an open bar is a guarantee. Now, whether it's a presidential wedding like this one or a mere citizen's wedding, there's always a chance that with one of your guests will over-imbibe. The best way to handle this is to have a conversation with the bartender, to tell him or her to keep an eye out for guests who may have had one too many. Tell them that you would like them to use their discretion to CUT OFF any guests who are showing signs.

Also, it's a good idea to have your wedding planner to keep a watchful eye on the guests so they can handle someone who's too inebriated and discreetly bring them to an area where the guests are less likely to notice. If you don't have a wedding planner who can do this, designate someone in your wedding party.

TABLE SETTINGS
Chelsea's wedding is definitely going to be a black tie affair and that means that formal table settings will be used. You don't want to have Pretty Woman moment when deciphering their silverware. The first and most important rule is to work from the outside in.

Here is the layout:
Service Plate/Charger - is an "underplate" for the courses preceding the entree course
Butter Plate - butter plate placed above the forks at the left of the place setting
Dinner Fork - the largest fork, placed according to when it'll be used
Fish Fork - small fork placed farthest to the left because it's the first fork used
Salad Fork - placed depending on when it'll be served. If first, then fish would be second fork from left, if second, then right of fish fork
Dinner Knife - large dinner knife placed to right of dinner plate
Fish Knife - specially-shaped fish knife right of dinner knife
Salad Knife (there's no salad knife in this picture) - depends on when it's served. If after dinner, then it'd be to the left of the dinner knife, if first, it'd be all the way to the right
Soup Spoon (there's no soup spoon in this picture) - if soup is served as the first course, it'd be to the right of the knives
Oyster Fork - If shellfish is served, it would be to the right of the spoon. This is the only fork ever placed to the right of the plate
Butter Knife - small spreader knife placed diagonally on top of the butter plate, the handle is on the right with the blade facing down
Glasses - Smaller ones are placed up front. The water goblet is right above the knives, and to the right are the champagne flute, red wine glass, and white wine glass
Napkin - paced on top of the plate

Other things to keep in mind:
Knife blades are always placed with the cutting edge facing the place
No more than three of each utensil is ever placed on the table… except when there's an oyster fork