48 Hours

Tug Of Love

By David Kohn

February 21, 2001 / 6:04 PM EST / CBS

What makes someone fit to be a parent? 48 Hours, in conjunction with Reader's Digest, investigates a complex, emotional custody case that pits a California couple against a biological father. At stake: a baby boy named Spencer.

When Aaron and Lynda Kass married they dreamed of starting a family. After failing to conceive, they decided to adopt.

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The Kasses provided the ideal setting to raise a child: they were a loving couple living in a nice home in Brentwood, an upscale neighborhood of Los Angeles. Aaron made a good salary as a television writer and producer.

They contacted an adoption lawyer who introduced them to a birth mother: Crystal Kane, who was eight months pregnant at the time. She had left Texas after her relationship with the child's father, Michael Elskes, failed. She soon chose the Kasses to be the parents of her unborn child.

Reader's Digest

Read the original Reader's Digest story.

On Nov. 10, 1997, Crystal gave birth to a baby boy. She named him Dylan Chance Kane. With Crystal's blessing, the Kasses changed his name to Spencer Kass.

The Kasses had been assured that the biological father would not interfere with the adoption. But when Elskes found out about the adoption he refused to relinquish his parental rights. He wanted to raise Spencer himself.

But the Kasses were not about to give up. "Spencer's mine. I was there when he was born, he's mine," said Lynda Kass. "I've raised him. Aaron raised him. Biology is not everything."

In a California court, the Kasses were granted temporary custody of Spencer. Kane told the Kasses that she gave up her son for adoption to protect him from Elskes. She said he was abusive to his daughter from a previous marriage.

But Elskes disputed the claims of abuse. "I've raised this child by myself and she's a beautiful, perfect little girl," he said of his daughter Tina.

Elskes says that when he found out Kane was pregnant, he wanted to be a father to the baby, and tried to have a restraining order placed on her to keep her from aborting the child.

In June, 2000, after 2 1/2 years of legal wrangling, Elskes won a hard-fought ruling: A Texas court agreed to hear his custody case. Texas courts have a history of favoring the rights of the biological parent.

But just as the momentum seemed to be shifting his way, Elskes had a change of heart. In the middle of delivering a deposition in California for an upcoming hearing, Elskes asked to speak with Aaron Kass.

Elskes and the Kasses agreed to settle the case. In August, 2000, Elskes signed an agreement making Aaron and Lynda the permanent guardians of his son. He was allowed visitation rights to Spencer.

Elskes said he had made his choice with his son's best interest at heart. "I have decided to stop. My son loves the Kasses and I believe they love him and I hope they give him all the things I can't - 'cause he deserves it," he said. "If I took him now I fear that he would grow to hate me. I don't think it would be fair to him."

It's been almost two years since this "tug of love" ended. Michael Elskes now lives in Texas with his daughter Tina. In the past year, he has been to California to visit Spencer once. Money has been a problem.But with the Kasses' blessing, there is one thing he's been able to give Spencer: his name.