The Lamest Customer Excuse Ever

I'm always intrigued by the way that people deliver bad news -- particularly if the messenger's responsible for the bad news itself.

I was reminded of this at my local train station this morning when I went to buy a ticket. The office was shut and on its door was a poster which read: " Please note: This ticket will be closed today due to circumstances beyond our control."

Then in smaller letters: "We apologise for any inconvenience caused."

Which left me wondering.

And I wondered if it really was closed because of circumstances "beyond their control."

Because the beyond our control bit actually suggested that they weren't really apologising (perhaps that was the reason for the small letters), and that it wasn't their fault because they couldn't do anything about it.

So, I became intrigued about what on earth could have happened that was beyond their control.

As far as I knew, there had been no natural disaster overnight. War hadn't suddenly broken out in this leafy suburb of Berkshire, making it impossible for staff to find their way through the bomb craters and barbed wire to get to the office in time.

No, the only thing I could think of was that the person who usually doles out the tickets had been taken sick. Fair enough. But does that still really mean that the closure of the office was absolutely genuinely beyond their control?

Of course not. If National Rail really, really cared about its customers it would have support staff readily available to take over in such situations. And let's face it, the ticket office is a pretty important function of the ability to run a train service. If you've ever been on the withering end of an on-board ticket checker who clearly doesn't believe the reason why you don't have a ticket is that there was no-one from whom to buy it, then you'll know what I mean.

If the station had this resource support structure in place then the chances are that they would have been able to open the ticket office.

So, it wasn't beyond their control -- they just chose not to put in place the systems needed to continue to provide a service to their customers.

Organisations such as National Rail -- or the franchise that operates my local line -- have worked very, very hard to get their act together.

But sometimes they just don't get it when it comes to customer service. They will tell you until they are blue in the face that they are truly customer-centric -- but unless you put the investment in place to make that a reality then it will always only ever be hot air.

Think about your own business. How many times have you ever told a customer that you couldn't deliver a service to them due to circumstances beyond your control. Almost never ever, I'll bet.

If you can't deliver it, you apologise and take the flak.

"Beyond our control" is a get-out. It removes responsibility for poor service. Customers see through it, and all that does is further rupture trust between the supplier and the customer. And that ain't good enough.

What do you think -- what's the weakest excuse for bad service you've ever encountered?