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The Bold And The Beautiful

If you thought you knew what polygamy in America looks like-child brides, prairie dresses and upswept hair-think again: twin sisters Vicki and Valerie, who, along with another woman, consider themselves all married to the same man, manage to blend in to society.

"All together, we have 22 children. And we all live in one big house," Valerie, who is the third wife, tells correspondent Troy Roberts.

Their home is not a house in a remote compound, but on a middle class suburban street just outside Salt Lake. Valerie estimates that there are "thousands" of families like hers out there - thousands of families you would never know were breaking the law just by looking at them.

These women have jobs, wear makeup, and send their children to the local public school. Their children play video games, and their teenage son dyes his hair.

"We [are] kind of willing to, you know, not think that the outside world is such a bad place. My family doesn't live in a kind of closed society," says Vicki, who is the second wife.

It is estimated that there are close to 40,000 polygamists in the United States, and only a quarter of them belong to the FLDS. Many more live much like Vicki and Valerie.


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Suzy and Christine also live in plural marriages. "The basic thing that we have different from FLDS is that we chose who we marry. We choose when we marry. We don't believe in under-aged marriages," Christine says.

They think under-aged is under 18, and Val says, "For my own children, they may be a little bit older."

"Absolutely I'd love the girls to go to college first. Get a degree. You know, work on their own for a while. Go live in an apartment. Travel the world," Christine adds.

The practice of polygamy is a deeply held spiritual belief for them. "It's just the way that Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob lived in the Bible," Christine says.

But they say they'd be okay if their children decided to forego it. "It not as if, you know, everyone is forcing their kids even into this lifestyle. They are allowed freedom wherever their life takes them," Valerie says.

Vicki and Valerie call themselves independent fundamentalists. "We associate with each other and we know each other. But we don't, you know, go to the same church or have a leader like a Warren Jeffs persona that follow."

The family worships at home and tries its best to live under the radar. They would not share their last names, and their husband refused to be interviewed, fearing it would jeopardize his business

"Ours won't go on camera because there is a stigma," Vicki explains.

But the raid in Texas has changed things for them: they believe the allegations of abuse against the FLDS are greatly exaggerated, and it has frightened them.

"I feel compelled to stand up," Val tells Roberts. "If that could happen to them in their community, what is to stop it from happening to me in my home? If I take my child to the doctor with a broken bone, I don't want to have the fear that they're gonna automatically assume that it's abuse. Because why? Because you're a polygamist. And I have that fear."

Their children live with that fear as well: in the predominantly Mormon community they're frequently taunted as polygamists. They say their children have been called "polyg" in a derogatory way.

"Do they come home in tears sometimes?" Roberts asks.

"They have. My daughter has had rocks thrown at her," Vicki says.

There's a lot, they say, we just don't understand. "The men get a bad rap. I've heard said that it's all about sex and control from the men. And really, they work so hard to provide to their families," Vicki says.

They're particularly offended by the stereotype that women in polygamy are oppressed. "I don't think a man who lives this way just has all power over everyone in his family to do as he pleases," Valerie says.

"No, he might like it, but he doesn't," she adds, laughing. "When there's a disagreement, we all decide together and talk about it. And we all decide together what would be the best for the whole."

They want to bring the practice of polygamy out of the shadows in the hope that one day it may be decriminalized, so they were even willing to answer uncomfortable questions

"How does sharing your husband with other women enhance your spiritual lives?" Roberts asks.

"We learn a lot of things about ourselves, we learn about our emotions," Valerie says.

"That's one thing that a lot of people have had a hard time understanding. Well, don't you get jealous? How can you do this? Do you get jealous? And to me, it's yeah, yeah you do. But it's also something that going into it, we knew this was going to happen. We knew we were going to share this relationship," Vicki adds.

"Your husband is in another bedroom being intimate with one of his other wives? How do you just let that go?" Roberts asks.

"I have cried. And I have yelled maybe a little bit. Just a little bit," Vicki admits.

"I slam doors and stuff sometimes. It can be a challenge," Valerie says. "I mean it's life, we're real people we have real emotions. You just work through them."

It may be particularly challenging when your twin sister is married to the same man. But Vicki and Valerie say living this way has brought them closer to God and each other. In a family so large, they say their children are never lonely. And neither are they.

"There's so much rich family values in so many experiences that you have that you wouldn't experience somewhere else. Because you really have to work together. And the people in your life that you have relationships with, those are the people that help you grow," Vicki says.

"Can you see living your life any other way?" Roberts asks.

"I can hardly imagine it," Valerie says.

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