The Attitude that Builds Rapport

In my previous post, I talked about the importance of curiosity when it comes to rapport building. If you're curious about the prospect, the prospect will be naturally drawn to like you. It's human nature.

Dr. Robert Cialdini in his books Influence: the Psychology of Persuasion and Influence: Science and Practice cites research showing that "likeability" in sales situations comes from finding similarities between yourself and the prospect, and then raising them to the surface. Turns out that people naturally like people who share similar interests. Since most people are deeply interested in themselves, if you're sincerely interested in a prospect, the two of you have something in common and are therefore in rapport.

Let me give you an example from my own day-to-day experience. Writing for business publications like BNET involves interviewing top executives, most of whom are extremely busy. It's my job to get them to talk candidly about the strengths and weaknesses of their firm and its strategy, so that I can write intelligently about the subject matter.Note that the kind of interviewing I'm doing is exactly what you're doing every time you meet with a prospect to determine a firm's problems and opportunities. Just as you're planning to sell a solution, I must sell the idea that that it's worth their time and effort to share something substantive rather than just blather their talking points.

I almost always start off such interviews with a question that truly interests me: "What do you like best about your job?" (I find answers to this question infinitely interesting because, well, people are interesting and their career choices are often the most important decisions that they make.) Absolutely every time I've asked this question, even the gruffest executive says something like "Gee, nobody has ever asked me that", thinks for a bit, and then waxes eloquent about how much he or she loves the job. The barriers go down and rest of the interview goes smoothly.

Now, PLEASE do not think that I'm suggesting that you walk into an initial customer meeting and ask "What do you like best about your job?" That specific question works for me because it's unexpected in the context of a media interview. The same line delivered at the beginning of a sales call would likely sound smarmy and wooden.

Nevertheless, the intent behind the question, which is genuine curiosity about the individual, is exactly the right attitude to have during a sales call. If you're truly interested in the person you're meeting, and really, truly want to find out more, you'll find it much easier to build rapport, because that curiosity will express itself naturally in the conversation.

I discussed the initial rapport building process (without spending as much time as I wanted on the issue of curiosity versus friendliness) in an earlier post:

HOW TO BUILD INSTANT RAPPORT
In the next few posts, I'll discuss how that use that your natural curiosity to create a series of rapport building situations that will make closing the deal a snap.