A few weeks ago, a pair of stone tablets were discovered buried beneath a demolished office building in downtown Manhattan. The tablets depicted some sentences, in cryptic cuneiform, that scholars have only recently been able to decipher.
Here is the translation:
- #1: Remember that thou art in Marketing and thus subservient to Sales.
- #2: Thy job is to make selling easier for the sales team, for if sales do not happen, lo!, thou hast no job.
- #3: Thou shalt not take credit for closed deals.
- #4: Thou shalt not claim that thou art "driving sales."
- #5: When a sales pro speaks, thou shalt close thy mouth and open thy ears.
- #6: Thou shalt not pretend to know how to sell when such activity is unfamiliar to thee.
- #7: Thou shalt provide the sales team with qualified leads that convert quickly.
- #8: Thou shalt not pretend to be strategic or consider thyself essential.
- #9: Thou shalt waste money neither on fancy brochures nor useless trade shows.
- #10: Thou shalt not covet the sales team's commissions and perks, for verily they have earned them.