Rummy Rant Wins Dubious Honor

He may not know it — or know that he knows it — but Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld has won this year's "Foot in Mouth" award for the most baffling statement by a public figure.

Britain's Plain English Campaign, scourge of jargon, clichés and legalese, announced the honors Tuesday, giving runner-up to California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

The top prize went to Rumsfeld for this logic-twister he gave at a press briefing on Iraq:

"Reports that say that something hasn't happened are always interesting to me, because as we know, there are known knowns, there are things we know we know," Rumsfeld said.

"We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know. But there are also unknown unknowns — the ones we don't know we don't know."

"We think we know what he means," said Plain English Campaign spokesman John Lister. "But we don't know if we really know."

Schwarzenegger's honored entry, made to a radio interviewer, was more straightforward: "I think that gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman."

British politician Chris Patten was singled out for his assessment of Britain's main opposition party: "Having committed political suicide, the Conservative Party is now living to regret it."

The annual "Golden Bull" award was shared by several British companies: JMC Airlines, now part of the Thomas Cook travel group; Lloyds Pharmacy, clothing and household goods retailer Marks and Spencer, electrical appliance maker SMEG, the bank Standard Life and Warburtons Bakers.

Marks and Spencer was cited for the label "now with roast chicken" on a roast chicken salad. "So what was in it before?" asked the campaign.

SMEG was criticized for a dishwasher manual which contained the instruction: "By pressing the relative button of desired program (see table) it will lid up the relative pilot light to confirm that the operation did occurred on the DISPLAY (9) will appear a program duration forecasting ('h.mm')." (Sic)

SMEG spokeswoman Pauline Dewhurst apologized and said the company has since produced easier-to-read guides.