Fort Lauderdale, Fla. — This past fall, confessed Parkland killer Nikolas Cruz wrote a series of letters — a number of them on a daily basis — to a woman living in the United Kingdom. He professed his love for her, asked her to marry him and told her he wanted at least three children — and he wanted to name them after guns.
CBS Miami reported on letters released by the Broward State Attorney's Office Monday. A source tells the station the letters were seized from Cruz's cell by authorities after a run-in he had with a detention deputy last year.
Child-like drawings, simple language and misspellings mark the letters, as do the sometimes rambling nature of the topics.
It's clear that Cruz is trying to impress the woman as he tells her stories from his life, such as the time a friend accidentally shot him in the stomach with a pellet gun.
He also asks her questions in typical high school fashion about her interests, likes and desires.
On a few occasions, Cruz explores his feelings. He speaks about the death penalty, saying, "A part of me is wishing to end. End with the death pentale. Letting someone inject me with long last sleep its kind of what I want but I'm unsure of myself so I'm just letting people save me from myself, saving me form something that I can never return from."
Cruz admits he was a bad kid in school. "When I was thirteen, I started acting out more often in school," he wrote. "I used to pull the fire alarms, bully teachers and break stuff like I kicked in a window because the kids wouldn't let (me) in and I poured ice cream all over the floors in 7th grade on my teacher's birthday it was funny."
He talks about his mother and how he felt lonely and isolated with her. "I loved my mom don't get my wrong she bought me my first pellet gun when I was 15 and bought me video games when I was young," he writes.
Cruz never discusses the violence and death he inflicted on the Parkland community in February 2018. But he does ask the woman he's writing to marry him.
He also asks, "Do you want children? I really want children I want 3 boys and girls, maybe more lol. The boys names will be Kalashnikov, Markov, Remington."
Those are makes and models of guns, though it appears he meant Makarov, not Markov.
Cruz rambles through many topics and stories but also appears lucid and to know right from wrong.
He talks numerous times about life in jail and his weight gain. He calls jail "boring" and says, "It's really easy to gain weight in here."
He also says he can't sleep more than a few hours each night because the guards wake him up every few hours.
Cruz appeared resigned to the fact that he's going to spend his life in jail. But he does dream of getting out one day.
He says he'd live outdoors and asks the woman if she would allow him to have a weapon.
"Would you be ok with me getting a crossbow if I lived with you?" he asked. "It will only be used for sporting and hunting that's all."
Cruz's attorneys have said he will plead guilty to the charges in exchange for a life sentence. Prosecutors are seeking the death penalty against him.