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Oscars' gift bag has $80,000 worth of swag

Don't worry, Oscar losers. You may not have won the most prestigious award in Hollywood, but look at this way: You get a ton of free hair transplants.

Some Academy Award nominees will get a gift bag valued at more than $80,000 this year -- twice the worth of last year's paltry offerings. The company that puts together the gift bags, Distinctive Assets, told Business Insider that vendors were lining up to be part of the chance to participate.

"This year we had so many vendors approach the team at Distinctive Assets wanting to be a part of the gift bag," a company spokesperson told the website. "There are also several luxury items included which really boost up the value."

The Oscars 2014: Interviews with this year's nominees 05:18
That may be of little comfort to nominees with their heart set on a gold statuette. But for any star who wonders if that empty space on their nightstand could have been filled if only a few pounds had been lost, or if only that hairline might have not receded as much, the gift bag is there to help.

The most expensive item on the list is a $16,000 voucher for a hair restoration procedure from Chicago surgeon William Yates. The procedure uses robotic equipment known as Artas, and Yates told NBC Chicago that he wanted to "introduce the stars to the new technology."

Oscars 2014: The nominees and the snubs 01:26
And because a losing celeb might just want to get far, far away from Hollywood after Sunday night, Walk Japan is offering everyone a $15,000 walking tour of Japan. If Japan is a little too exotic, there's a $9,000 trip to Las Vegas.

It's hard to see some Oscar nominees enjoying the $6.49 DrainWig device that keeps hair from clogging in the shower, or the $120 Mace pepper gun pack in pink and camouflage colors, but companies aren't really filling these bags to keep Leonardo DiCaprio happy. Many of these items will likely get handed off to an overworked publicist or chauffeur.

Instead, vendors want the publicity that comes with the bag. If Amy Adams takes home a $35 six-pack of herbal tea lollipops from Dosha Pops, hey, maybe you should order some too. That $280 package of organic maple syrup from Rouge Maple is suddenly looking a little more glamorous.

Here are more of the items in this year's Oscar bags, courtesy of Business Insider:
  • $2,560 home spa system
  • $280 portable camera from Narrative Clip
  • $23 worth of reusable dry-cleaning bags from Green Garmento
  • $39 in weight-loss gummies, protein bars and shakes from Hydroxycut
  • $290 Swiss-made watch
  • $500 lifetime membership to a meditation gym
  • $2,000, five-night stay at the Koloa Landing Resort in Hawaii
  • $2,700 "O-Shot" procedure to stimulate a woman's sex drive
  • $4,900 home water filtration system
  • $6,850 train trip in the Canadian Rockies
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