Not Your Father's Miss America

Welcome to Atlantic City's other beauty pageant, the one for men dressed in drag.

Seven blocks and a world away from the stage where Miss America 2000 was crowned Saturday night, the Miss'd America Pageant lampooned its famous older sister with a raucous, gender-bending spoof funny enough to bust a girdle.

Held annually on the night after Miss America's crowning, "Miss'd America" provides a sarcastic antidote to the apple-pie sincerity of the real pageant.

The only serious thing Sunday was the cause: The event raised more than $15,000 for support programs run by the South Jersey AIDS Alliance. Â"It's the wildest show this side of the Boardwalk,Â" said Bill Mattel, the alliance's former chief executive.

There was Miss Sallotta Tea, who squeezed 240 pounds into a sequined black cocktail dress and opera-length black gloves. Down the runway went Miss Tea, pushing a cart loaded with goodies and warbling a version of the title song from the musical Cabaret.Â"Life is a big buffet, my friend. So come to the big buffet,Â" sang Miss Tea.

Then there was Miss Tenee, a 6-foot-3 inch, 205-pounder, who began a talent segment in a purple Afro wig and brown velour dress. That soon disappeared, revealing a silk chemise. Miss Tenee won the crown, was given a dozen roses and headed down the bulb-adorned runway as the crowd sang a reworked version of There She Is, the Miss America standard.

The capacity 600-person crowd was a mix of gay and straight, casino workers and local politicians, Miss America Pageant hairstylists and female impersonators.

Not that there wasn't some authenticity to the proceedings. Miss America 1998 Kate Shindle, who spent her reign promoting AIDS advocacy and needle exchanges, sang My Man during the show. "As far as I'm concerned, what's any pageant without a former Miss Whatever singing Streisand?" she said.