Movie Love: Don't Choose Cheese
Valentine's Day is here, and one great way to celebrate is to park yourself and your loved one on the couch, pour some wine, and load up the DVD player with two or three romantic movies.
But the sheer glut of celluloid love stories means that you might end up with some moldy cheese to go with your pinot. Here's a brief rundown of five that are guaranteed to help you get lucky, as well as five that are the cinematic equivalents of a cold shower.
THE CAVIAR:
"Casablanca" (1942): "Here's looking at you, kid." Several more iconic lines have come from this tale of all the sacrifices one will make for love. Rick (Humphrey Bogart) loses his café, his anonymity and even his woman, but does get one thing back in return: his humanity.
"Romeo and Juliet" (1968): Five hundred years later, no one does it like the Bard. And no one brought Shakespeare's masterwork of impetuous young love to life like director Franco Zeffirelli. It's not only the definitive treatment of the tale, but a sumptuous, heart-rending delight in itself.
"Love Story" (1970): The word "tearjerker" could have been invented for the tragic tale of Oliver Barrett IV (Ryan O'Neal) and Jennifer Cavallleri (Ali McGraw), who seem like they couldn't be more wrong for each other, but end up being so right — only to have it all taken away. Melodramatic and simplistic, but unforgettable.
"The Way We Were" (1973): Can love overcome all differences? The bond between Robert Redford and Barbra Streisand bond is tested by their backgrounds, their faiths, and their responses to societal upheaval. Ultimately, it's their failure to live up to each other's expectations that does them in — like so many of us.
"When Harry Met Sally..." (1989): Few movies capture the essence of modern romance like this Rob Reiner-directed classic. The question of whether men and woman can ever just be friends is just the starting point for a funny, smart and poignant study of the many variables of love and relationships.
THE CHEESE:
"Endless Love" (1981): How could Zeffirelli go from Shakespeare to this? Overwrought and overcooked, this glop's only enduring (if questionable) contributions to pop culture are the title song (played at weddings everywhere) and Tom Cruise (making his screen debut in a small role).
"9 1/2 Weeks" (1986): Director Adrian Lyne set the standard for every late-night cable softcore offering with his sweaty story of a woman (Kim Basinger) looking for love and a man (Mickey O'Rourke) looking for someone to rub ice cubes on. Note to filmmaker: tawdry does not equal erotic.
"You've Got Mail" (1998): Product placement reached new heights in this Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan pairing, which seemed more like a marketing tool for AOL than a remake of 1940's "The Shop Around the Corner." The "meet-cute" premise can't hide the lack of real romance, plotting or characterization.
"Gigli" (2003): This disaster is already well-documented, but we'll add that a) it's usually a bad idea to try capitalizing on a real-life romance (in this case, stars Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck), and b) the "straight man converts lesbian" plot went out with another Affleck dud, "Chasing Amy." If you want to end Valentine's Day early, rent this for sure.
By Don Kaye