More Name-Calling Called For

Rummaging through a collection of [former CBS News Correspondent] Eric Sevareid's old commentaries, I suddenly realized what we're missing in this Presidential campaign.

We're sorely in need of more creative name calling.

The best the Republicans have managed so far is when the Manchester Union Leader endorsed Steve Forbes even though he "looks like a geek," as the newspaper put it. Catchy. But we can't count that since it was meant as a compliment, I guess.

No compliment was intended back in '52 when Harry Truman called the Republicans "snolly gosters," and Washington was so shocked. Sevareid reminded his listeners name calling has always been a revered part of American politics.

He remembered how General Winfield Scott's opponents called him the "peacock of politics, all fuss, feathers and fireworks."

And how they said President McKinley had the "backbone of a chocolate eclair."

For pure invective I've always been partial to John L. Lewis' description of Roosevelt's Vice President Garner as a "a labor-baiting, poker-playing, whiskey-drinking, evil old man."

This year's Republican debates have been polite as a sixth grade spelling bee, so if the Democrats want higher TV ratings for theirs, maybe Bill Bradley should call Al Gore an "Internet-inventing, Love Canal-Discovering, Earth Tone-Wearing, Tree Hugger."

And what if Gore just called Bradley "a big dribbler," and sat down.

Anyhow, if you hear a candidate in either party say his opponent has the "backbone of a chocolate eclair," call me. I may vote for him.

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