Memo To Sen. Hagel: Just Tell It Straight

Memo

To: Sen. Chuck Hagel

Re: Your so-called announcement

From: Skeptics

We want to believe you, Chuck. But we've been through this. We listened dutifully to your press conference back in March, trusting you to tell us straight up whether you were running for president in 2008.

Your opening line should have been a clue.

"America stands at an historic crossroads in its history. It is against this backdrop that I find myself at my own crossroads on my political future." 

Too many crossroads. But the next bit offered hope of a resolution.

"Burdened by two wars, faced with dangerous new threats and global uncertainty, beset by serious long-term domestic problems and divided by raw political partisanship, America now reaches for a national consensus of purpose. Finding solutions to these challenges and capitalizing on these opportunities will not wait until the next election."

Yes, yes! Now we were going somewhere. No more footsie. No more Lucy pulling away Charlie Brown's football.

We felt the crescendo build.

And then you threw in a speed bump. Not a scrape-out-the-bottom-of-the-car bump, but one that required downshifting.
 

"I have worked hard over the last ten years on foreign policy and national security issues, climate change and energy, education, entitlement reform, especially Social Security reform, health care, veterans benefits, GSE reform, and immigration reform."

Uh-oh. Politico-speak.

"This year will be an important year for these critical issues -- and I intend to offer new initiatives on each of them. I want to give these and other subjects my full attention over the next few months. I believe it is in the interests of my Nebraska constituents and this country that I continue to work full time on these challenges."

Ah-ha, we thought. It was a no-go.

"America is facing its most divisive and difficult issue since Vietnam--the war in Iraq, an issue that I have been deeply involved in. I want to keep my focus on helping find a responsible way out of this tragedy, and not divert my energy, efforts and judgment with competing political considerations."

Those lines seemed to clinch it.

And then came the whiplash.

"I am here today to announce that my family and I will make a decision on my political future later this year."

We felt like Carrie at the prom.

Sure, you tried to explain why you'd decided not to decide, nattering on with phrases such as "new political center of gravity" and "the world is not static" and "accountable governance."

But Chuck: No one was listening. They were groaning.

So here you come again, planning to hold a press conference Monday about your intentions.

Don't blame us for being skeptical. We in the media have little patience for the non-candidate candidate. Fred Thompson owned that corner (until Wednesday night.)

And voters? They're cranky. It's all so early. Say what you will about the single-digit guys; at least they decided.

Last March, you closed with this pearl:

"I intend to continue being part of America's story."

Do everyone a favor, Chuck. Don't continue to continue.

Just decide already.