Meet 'the Rug': Secret, funny boss nicknames

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(MoneyWatch) Do you have a secret, funny nickname for your boss that he or she would be mortified to hear? Or maybe your manager would love it and laugh along with you?

Whether you have a private nickname that you only silently mouth to yourself or a discreet one that you use after hours with work friends, you're not alone. In speaking with some folks, I found four boss nicknames that are sure to make you laugh -- particularly if your own boss is driving you crazy today. (I've kept the stories anonymous, out of respect for both the employees and bosses.)

"NAC" (aka Not A Clue)
"My coworkers and I came up with a saying that we repeatedly parroted to the boss when he was imparting his vast knowledge upon us. All of us had more (or as much) time, knowledge, and experience in the business than he did. This boss enjoyed listening to himself talk, and was quick to try to impress and 'educate' us. At which point, we would always reply that he had a real 'knack' for the business. He was always glad to receive the praise. What he didn't realize was that he was the only one in the group who didn't know that 'knack' was really an acronym spelled NAC, for 'Not A Clue'. "

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"The Rug"
"[Our boss] decided to show up to work one day wearing a toupee. The office was all abuzz. Turns out his new good looks had no positive effect on his personality or temperament. After a while, he was known as 'the rug'. Getting called into his office to be humiliated was called a 'rugging'. On my very last day of employment there, after turning in my two weeks of notice, I was called into his office and was told I would never have been made a partner at his firm... my last rugging..."

"CDSE" (aka Cold, Dead Shark Eyes)
"CDSE is a result of the way this particular 'superior' would stare at people in group meetings, with these cold, gray, emotionless shark eyes. You could just feel her judging every syllable, waiting to pounce and devour you in front of the whole school like that one stray fish. [The nickname] became conference call IM fodder. There were a group of VPs who worked together several layers beneath CDSE, so we all kind of shared that one."

"The Boogieman"
"[A few hair stylists and I] had been renting a booth in a hair salon for many years, and we referred to the owner of the hair salon as 'the boogieman'. My co-worker and I would often say 'the boogieman is coming' or 'the boogieman is going to get you!' Every time he came around he was always angry, irritable, or annoyed with someone or something. We felt like little children scattering around hoping that he would not say anything to us, because whatever he was going through, he would make sure that we all knew about it."

Do you have a secret, funny nickname for your boss? Please share in the comments section below.

Photo courtesy of Wikimedia Commons user Inverse Hypercube

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    Amy Levin-Epstein is a freelance writer who has been published in dozens of magazines (including Glamour, Self and Redbook), websites (including, and and newspapers (including The New York Post and the Boston Globe). To read more of her writing, visit