Juggling Career And Home

It turns out working moms, the group we thought would be the craziest, is not so much. That is what The Early Show correspondent Tracy Smith found in the third installment of the series on the stresses of motherhood.

Jenifer Espanet is a working mom, which basically means she has two full-time jobs.

She says, "I try to work and I try to feel that I am a stay-at-home mom, even though I'm not."

Eight months pregnant and sometimes working right from her minivan, Espanet wishes she could split herself in two.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how stressed is she?

"Some days it could be a 7," she says, "And some days, it's an 11," and laughs.

Like 30 million working mothers, Espanet manages a precarious balancing act with little margin for error.

Child care is the great challenge. Scheduling daughter Bailey requires mission-critical planning.

"Child care is a juggling act. Every week is different," Espanet explains, pointing at her calendar, "Every thing with a circle on it is my husband's day off. I need full 8 hours of child care from one of the grandmas."

If she were to lose her calendar, she says she would be in trouble. Espanet also manages the household, but she admits that with her schedule, some things have to go.

She says, "I don't have time to get normal stuff done around the house. It could be three weeks before I do a load of laundry. My daughter has 25 pairs of underwear."

Though she likes to think she has it all together, she says with laughter, "I don't."

Perfecting the illusion of being in two places at once, Espanet talks with her daughter as often as she can.

Talking with her over the phone is "very important, very important," she stresses. "I want to know what she's up to and what she's doing."

Espanet's employers are flexible, but she is expected to put in her time.
"I still have to work 40 hours," she says, "There are many nights that I work at home after hours, finishing up things I didn't finish during the day, because talk about a sense of guilt! I feel guiltier for the job that I want to make sure I give them their 40 hours that they're paying me for."

So, she is getting guilt both ways.

"Typically, I probably put in more than 40 hours, because of that compensation," she says.

Most working mothers say they experience some guilt.

Jessica Shapley, momsupport.org's director, explains, "I'm not doing work stuff 100 percent; I'm not doing mom stuff 100 percent. You're left with, 'What am I doing?' 'What am I doing right here?'"

Espanet feels she's doing the right thing, and that goes a long way toward reducing the guilt.

She says, "Working mothers show a great example to their children. It shows our sons that women should be equal in the workplace. And it shows our daughters that they can grow up and aspire to do anything they want to do."

But if she could, would she stay at home?

"I couldn't do it," she says, "I just couldn't do it. I have to go to work. And it's not just from a financial standpoint. I need to be successful as a person outside of my house and make a difference."

Finding balance is the ever-elusive mantra. Most experts will tell you to get help from your spouse, even if it's not perfect

Carol Evans, the CEO of Working Mother Magazine notes, " We tend to correct our husbands. I say, let them load the dishwasher any way they can. And then just wash the dishes themselves."

She also suggests finding working mother mentors.

"Moms are the greatest supporters of each other," Evans says, "If you call a mom and say: 'I have this problem. What did you do?', she will give you a straight answer every time."

And remember: Ordering out means more time for kissing the kids.

Espanet says, "I want to be the mother who goes to work and earns money and we can do nice things as a family, because of that effort. But as well, I want to be the mother who's involved in my child's life. And I'll find a way, I really will; it's just a matter of squeezing it in somewhere."

Here's a guilt-busting statistic for working mothers: In "Ask the Children" study, kids of working moms and stay-at-home moms rate the same on satisfaction, happiness, and development. Children of both groups say they wish their parents were less stressed.