Is It Okay to Back Stab a Jerky Colleague?
Dear Stanley,
I have a coworker that gets under my skin, mainly because he's full of BS and continues to get away with it. I have him figured out and he knows it, so he stays away from me. But when it comes to our supervisor, he continues to blow smoke in order to gain career-wise. Should I blow the whistle on him or simply let him dig his own grave, assuming our supervisor will eventually figure it out on his own? I'm concerned that if I open my mouth, it'll make me look as if I'm being negative or trying to gain something myself. Is taking the higher road the best decision -- or should I throw him under the bus?
Angry Art
Dear Art,
I'm a big believer in allowing a person like this to dig his own grave. Once he's dug it, however, there's nothing wrong with giving him a little push to make sure he falls into it as quickly as possible. Or to pursue your metaphor, it's possible to lull a person to sleep so that when the bus arrives, it rolls right over him. You have to be careful, though. Everybody thinks backstabbing is a natural talent for people in corporate life. It's not. It's a learned skill just like any other. Those who attempt to backstab without sufficient thought and training can end up hoisted on their own petards. Those without a petard may simply be impaled on their letter opener.
The first question to ask yourself is this: Why are you so upset that this individual is getting away with his BS? We are all, to one extent or another, getting away with BS. Why shouldn't he? Is it that his BS is in conflict with your BS? Can't your two BSes co-exist? Perhaps his BS is more outlandish and funky than yours, and you resent it. Or is the success of his BS getting in the way of yours? Is it possible that what you're really feeling is jealousy at the quality and effectiveness of his BS? Don't get on your high horse about his BS. It's possible the boss likes his brand. You don't want to get caught denigrating a product that's being well-received by its customer.
At the same time, the guy's on your nerves, clearly. You have to do something about it, maybe. But be patient. Very often people who purvey too much BS end up drowning in it. Give him time. If you have an opportunity to point out how some piece of nonsense he is purveying is deficient, don't hesitate to do so -- if you are on solid grounds factually. But NEVER MAKE IT PERSONAL. Or at least not obviously personal. If you do, people can just say, "Oh, Art doesn't like Ned. Hates his guts. It's a thing between them." This will, in a weird way, equate the two of you in the public mind. Your posture has to be that you have nothing against the man, and in fact wish him well -- except when he does something stupid that's bad for business. Then, you know, you have to speak up in spite of your affection for the fellow. Your responsibility and all. Like that.
You may also conduct a responsible, moderate campaign to undermine his cred with the boss. But not in a mean way, you know, just, "Listen, Lenny, you and I both think the world of Ned, but in this case it doesn't seem like he's done his homework all that thoroughly." Try to do this when Ned is not in the room. No need to make enemies until those enemies are too weak to fight back.
You might also make sure that, when you hold a meeting, Ned is not invited. If he must be invited, give him a presentation to make that you know he's going to screw up. That should be easy. He's a BS artist. Making such a person put things out front is always illuminating.
The bottom line here is to take it slowly, look for opportunities, and never, ever get busted. Once you are flushed out as an adversary, things can get unpleasantly out of hand. Just because a guy is a bulls****er doesn't mean he doesn't have a hatchet up his sleeve with your name on it.