How To Make A 'Life Shift'

It's a big day for Aleta St. James. Just one year ago on Nov. 9, St. James made history when, at age 57, she became the oldest woman in America to give birth to twins, Francesa and Gian.

One year later, she's not only celebrating their first birthday but the publication of her new book, "Life Shift." In it, the life coach and emotional healer offers advice for achieving life-long goals. Click here to read an excerpt.

St. James tells The Early Show the conception and birth of her twins are the result of her very big desire and dream to have children. And says if you are having trouble achieving your dreams, she has the answers in her book to transform obstacles in to positives.

She believes that in order to move forward in life you must identify your "desires," "dreams," and "destiny." They are not interchangeable terms.

"Desire is something deep inside your soul that you want to express," she says. "A dream is how you bring your desire to fruition with your creativity, imagination. For example, you may have a desire for true love. The dream is how to create that love, and it might mean marriage. Destiny is how the dream unfolds and how you create it."

So once you are in touch with your desire, she says you can pursue it. "You address all the aspects of it," she says. "What's blocking you? For example, if you tell yourself you want to be an actress. What are the things you tell yourself that will hold you back? You might say, 'Oh my god, I'm not pretty enough, smart enough, good enough.' All the 'enoughs' come up and then you have to address them to release those negative feelings.

"You release these negative feelings through different techniques including breathing exercises and visualization exercises. On the emotional level, you identify that negative feeling and then you replace it with a positive thought."

St. James says people always have choices on how to pursue dreams and create their destinies. She stresses destiny is not predetermined, but rather created by people. And she believes that there are two forces within humans, "dynamic energy force" and "magnetic energy."

"This goes with the eastern Chinese system," she says. "There's Yin and Yang, and feminine and masculine energy. The dynamic energy force is more masculine. It's active. It's our ability to do things and to pursue what we want in life. Magnetic energy is our ability to draw what we desire to us. We have to have patience with this and learn to receive what we want. Frequently, we feel we can receive something only if we prove we're worthy or do something to get it. Magnetic energy is more passive."

And people have to have a balance of both. "The balance of the ability to do and the ability to receive will allow you to realize your potential much more quickly," she says. "You'll get more joy and fulfillment out of life. It's a balance between self-reliance and receiving support and knowing you deserve support."

St. James uses herself as an example. "I followed my deepest dream to have children," she says. "The challenges are great and I need to attract to me the ability to receive support because I cannot raise these children alone. The job is too big. When your dream is really big it challenges you to be the person you were meant to be."

Here is how she says you, too, can overcome your obstacles and move on towards your own destiny.

Transfer Lack Into Gratitude
"The more you say, 'Isn't it great I have this? I want to crate more and greater things,' that's when you can really hook into abundance," she says. "If you stay in worry, you'll never achieve your goals."

Transform Regret Into Possibilities
She says, "The worst thing people do is get stuck in their hurt. What someone did to us. How we weren't treated right. How we should have behaved and we didn't. People walk around being hurt. They create bad relationships, bad career choices because they are locked in the past and feel hopeless. Looking back prevents us from moving forward into the future and taking chances."

Transform Defeat Into Persistence
"When we feel like we've failed or not lived up to expectations, we feel lots of shame," she says. "But you can't get locked into those feelings of hopelessness and failure, rejection and shame. You have to get back into the game. Why didn't something work? What were the circumstances? What do you need to do to get better? Each question gives valuable information. And it takes the negative energy and starts you focusing on the positive and turning the situation around. The people who are most successful in life are the ones who are most persistent. They believe in their dreams and won't give up. It's hard to be successful when you have lots of shame. Being stuck in defeat keeps you in a sad, resentful, angry and bitter place."

Transform Low Self-Esteem Into Self-Worth
"Self-confidence comes when you take risks and ask for what you want," St. James says. "Low self-esteem says, 'I'm not enough, others are better. I can't do it.' It makes you feel, why even try? You need to use your magnetic energy and get supportive people in your life. You need to create a 'dream team' of people encouraging you to 'go for it' and encouraging you on. It's important to have that in your life, rather than being in the 'chat-room of discontent.'"

"Life shift" is published by Fireside, which is owned by Viacom, the same parent company as CBSNews.com.