"Dancing with the Stars": Opera singer shines, as tennis star gets injured
(CBS News) Last week, it almost seemed as if it was easy. The contestants in "Dancing with the Stars" exhibited far more aplomb than anyone could have expected from a first show.
On Monday's episode, would we see blemishes begin to appear? Would we see beginner's luck turn into misfortune? Would we finally see faces wracked in pain and bodies wrecked by fame?
Pictures: "Dancing with the Stars" Season 14
First into the breach was Disney "star" Roshon Fegan, who found himself confronted with the quickstep - normally a dance favored by Disney stars born before Fegan was even a concept.
Fegan, who fancies himself something of a hip-hopper, believes partner Chelsie Hightower needs "a swag upgrade." This would suggest he doesn't think she's quite cool enough. He is fortunate in that he has the cool, flexible legs of a double-jointed centipede, which allows them to describe lines some geometrists have never witnessed. Sometimes, though, it all looked like Bambi taking a wrong turning and finding herself in a crowded nightclub.
"Pert, alert, precise and traditional," was judge Bruno Tonioli's verdict. He also found Fegan's grin delicious. In fact, all the judges judged this performance delightful.
She said this would not be "Proud Sherri," while contemplating her Creedence Clearwater Revival music from a prostrate position in rehearsal. "This is going to be Dead Sherri."
My equipment is way to heavy for all that bouncin' around," she added. It's true that Shepherd has a lot of stuff to strut. Yet she tried to use every ounce to her advantage. Her jive featured wiggling, giggling, pouting, miming, a little blundering and a lot of sweating.
"You know how to work all that magnificent equipment," said a highly excited Tonioli. Carrie Ann Inaba declared she was in love with her. "This is where confidence can take you past mistakes," she said. "I felt good," said Goodman, referring purely to the dancing and not the equipment.
Melissa Gilbert had to dance to a tune from an old boyfriend - Billy Idol. Well, he's old now. Her partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, hated her posture in rehearsal. "You look like you're taking a dump," he offered charmingly.
Gilbert declared dancing "more difficult than childbirth." If her quickstep was anything to go by, childbirth can't have been all that bad.
However, Inaba had a problem with Gilbert's shoulders. Goodman worried about her posture and energy. Tonioli accused her of tightening up. Perhaps this was more like childbirth after all.
Jack Warner tried to find his inner teen in order to jive. He had complained about being brutalized by partner Anna Trebunskaya during rehearsal, but he came out with his arms and legs channeling every John Travolta movie he had witnessed.
Warner does like to open his mouth as if he is about to eat a very large piece of hippopotamus. This makes it seem as if he's offering a silent scream throughout. Near the end, he began to tire and lose time. His mouth, though, remained resolutely ajar.
"You lost a little bit of control," said Goodman. Inaba accused him of over-dancing. I am not sure Warner heard her. His mouth was wide open, desperately and loudly sucking in air.
Gladys Knight never seems to need extra air - at least when she's singing. In rehearsal, though, she was also gasping. She was also feeling intensely self-critical.
She was dancing to Stevie Wonder's "Sir Duke" and it was if someone had taken a 45 and slowed it to a 33. It made the whole thing seem a little more Bob Marley than Stevie Wonder, a little more reggae-rumba than quickstep.
"You have to be careful about your frame, Gladys," said Tonioli. Inaba called it a little too casual. She accused her of gazing into partner Tristan McManus' smiling Irish eyes a little too much.
"I didn't appreciate the dance," sniffed Goodman.
Last week's revelation, opera singer Katherine Jenkins, was this week forced to jive. "I'm worried about all this sexiness," she said. Odd, for a diva. "He wants me to shake my naughty bits," she said of lasciviously expressive partner Mark Ballas.
Jenkins is fortunate, in that her naughty bits are in very correct proportion. So when she and Ballas began shaking in very fast time, a frenzied, yet seductive rhythm quickly took hold.
"You had a problem with the sexy? I don't think so," muttered host Tom Bergeron when they were done.
"I'm all hot and bothered by that one," said Inaba. Tonioli tried to find as many cliches as he was allowed. Yes, this included the phrase "blonde bombshell."
Urkel - aka Jaleel White - was another revelation last week, but he wasn't quite so confident this week. His jive seemed a little labored, as if someone had shoved lead in his raised heels.
"It lacked real attack and speed," said Goodman, for once correct.
How could Maria Menounos offer attack, now that it has been revealed she cracked two ribs in rehearsal? At least, that's what many websites reported. On the show, her ribs were described as merely strained.
Her Bonne and Clyde-themed quickstep showed no strain at all. She seemed to move with far more ease than she had last week. Her promise to show her true inner Greek was fully demonstrated. In fact, it's a shame the Greeks didn't have her negotiating with Germany's Mrs. Merkel over the little financial bother over there.
"That's a frame you can frame," said Tonioli. Though the judges noticed her one misstep in the middle of the dance, even Goodman appreciated her style. The Greeks will be delighted that they had England and Italy on their side. For once.
Martina Navratilova rarely served double faults. She had severe problems, though, with triple steps in rehearsal. Her partner Tony Dovolani accused her of being insecure. Shortly afterward, she injured her toe. She began her performance by pawing her way down Goodman's body. There were, sadly, many faults after that.
Though the musical pace was again set to the time of snail, Navratilova struggled to identify the rhythm. Her facial gestures didn't merely suggest insecurity, but plain, unhidden fright. Perhaps the most exciting part for some viewers was the very end, when it looked like she was about to make out with Inaba, as Dovolani was about to make out with Tonioli.
Inaba called it fun. The dancing, that is. But she identified many technical flaws. Goodman called it "too neat and too precise." Tonioli was more pithy: "That serve went into the net."
The Green Bay Packers' Donald Driver was ready to pack it in during rehearsal. The quickstep was beyond him. In the real thing, he proved himself to be a competent kicker and moved with considerable foot-fleetness.
Goodman didn't merely praise him, but claimed he'd watched last week's show and apologized for under-marking him.
"I wanna quit jive cold turkey, my friend," said Gavin DeGraw, on learning that he was failing to learn it. He decided he would be a leather-jacketed Marlon Brando from times long gone by and simply attacked the dance with all the abandon of a lemming on E. It wasn't pretty, but it was likeable.
"Leather does wonders for you," said Tonioli. He wasn't quite so turned on by DeGraw's kicks and flicks.
But what of "the hottest package of the season," to use the considered words of Bergeron? This would be William Levy, the Latin soap opera bodythrob.
He carries his leading man role with some lightness, reminiscent of a previous, gorgeous specimen on the show, Gilles Marini. He moved largely with fluidity and didn't even have to take his clothes off to please Tonioli.
Screams burst throughout the auditorium when he had finished. Inaba called him "the Harry Connick Jr. of the ballroom."
"You lacked body content," huffed Goodman. Tonioli guffawed. He meant "body contact."
Goodman, perhaps jealous of Levy's female following, was decidedly mean. Tonioli, despite implying he wished he could have seen more of Levy, called it "superb."
Tuesday, someone will be eliminated. Wednesday, the real pain of doing this every week will only begin to worm its way inside bodies, minds and performances.
TOP THREE: Katherine Jenkins, Roshon Fegan, William Levy
BOTTOM THREE: Martina Navratilova, Jaleel White, Gavin DeGraw
