Column: Obama Flip-flop Flak Is All Fluff

This story was written by Corey Martin, Daily Mississippian

I like Barack Obama. He's intelligent, accomplished, obviously ambitious and someone told me I look like him in a recent conversation I had. (That really helps my Same Race Similarity Theory, which generally states that people tend to think that any two people from any other race can look alike. Right now, I'm down in Brownsville, Texas, where I'm also Kobe Bryant.)

Anyhow, my supposed triplet -- I already have a twin -- has been flagged as a flip-flopper, so I decided to research the term. I mean, excuse my bias, but this is family.

A preliminary Wikipedia search led me to New York City's October 1890 mayoral election. Via The New York Times' archives, I found several PDFs of election-based columns, including one in which John W. Goff, the Democratic candidate for district attorney, accused De Lancey, the Republican candidate, of flip-flopping on his opinion of Tammany Hall.

More recently it was affixed to John Kerry in attempts to define his supposed vacillation on key issues in the 2004 presidential election, and it is in vogue as a buzzword for those who straddle the fence.

I would prefer that we use the term to describe the individuals who prefer North Face jackets, soccer shorts and Rainbow sandals in the middle of December, but the magnitude of such a decision would force University of Mississippi Chancellor RobertKhayat to change the University slogan to "A Great Flip-Flopping University," and a bunch of flip-floppers can't host a presidential debate.

I won't attempt to defend Obama, Kerry or any other alleged flip-flopper, but the term applies to any other politician. It took a few minutes to create one that made sense, but here's an acronym for you: Promising Outright Lies Initially to Tactically Increase Credibility and Indulge Any Numbskull.

What's that spell?

All politicians lie. Flip-flopping is a euphemism for lying. If Obama is a flip-flopper, then every politician is a flip-flopper.

Let's revisit the 2000 presidential election and actually tell the truth.

Gov. George W. Bush: "My fellow Americans, over the next eight years, I promise to: send your family members to fight in one of the most hostile regions on the planet, make as many foreign enemies as possible, bring back Nixon-esque government secrecy, weaken the dollar, nearly quadruple gas prices, fatten my homeboys' corporate pockets and fail to help develop a feasible energy solution, and spend the last year of my term hiding behind the 2008 election. But first, there's this small matter of my getting elected. (Leans over toward Dick Cheney) What time do the polls close in Florida? Is that central or eastern time? Make sure Jeb recordificates 'Friends,' so I'll have something to watch when I visit. That Joey is one smart dude."

I'm sure that would have gone over really well with registered voters. If you didn't get the "recordificate" line, I can't help you.

As a society, many of us can't agree on one statement. We have talking heads to analyze every syllable of every statement every politician makes every second of every day. We (including me) digest tons of over-analyzed messages, which have as many interpretations as there are listeners and readers. So, if we can put our own spin on what politicians say, how can anyone ever expect a politician to "stick to their story"?

Politicians tell people what they want to hear. When people stop liking the message, they find a politician (or political group/party) that will tell them what they want to hear. In turn, the politician has to change things up or at the very least find a new way to say the same thing.

The point of politics is to get the most votes. I'm almost positive tha's why they have elections. At this stage politicians aren't running the race for principle. They want to win.

I mean, I could be wrong. Just let me know the day you decide to vote for the guy who openly promises to screw you over.

Then I'll do a flip-flop.