Brand Your Firm in 2 Minutes or Less

Whenever I post about marketing (see "5 Dangerous Marketing Myths"), I get flack for pointing out that brand marketing shouldn't take all that much time or effort.

Well, I figure it's time to prove the point... again. Branding is not all that complicated, and I'm going to prove it -- by showing you how to brand a high tech company in two minutes or less.

Click here for the first step »
STEP 1: CREATE A NEW PRODUCT NAME
If you're going to have a great brand, you need a corporate name that's cool, hip and up-to-date. And nothing fits the bill better than a brand spanking new Web 2.0 name. But why bother to pay a consultant $100,000 (or more) to come up with one? Just go to this website:

CREATE YOUR NEW CORPORATE NAME
Once you've found a name you like...

Click here for the next step »
STEP 2: CREATE A COOL CORPORATE LOGO
Now that you've got a Web 2.0 name, you'll need a cool logo to go on your website. Now, you could pay a graphics design firm $50,000 to create one for your, or you can just create one yourself in less than minute. Here's the website. Go for it:

CREATE YOUR COOL CORPORATE LOGO
Once you've got a logo that you like...

Click here for the next step »
STEP 3: GENERATE A MISSION STATEMENT
You're going to have to get investors interested in your firm, so you'll need a good, solid mission statement that will appeal to people who've got big bucks to invest. Now, you could spend a day huddled in a room with your co-workers "group-writing" a mission statement, or you just create one automatically in less than 5 seconds. Here's the website:

GENERATE YOUR MISSION STATEMENT
Once you've gotten one that's to your satisfaction...

Click here for the next step»
STEP 4: GENERATE A MARKETING MESSAGE
Now that you've got your name, logo and mission, all you need is a statement from marketing defining what your company is all about. Now, you could hire a marketing group and pay them $1m a year to do this, or you could just go with something created automatically (and then do some judicious editing). Here's the website:

GENERATE YOUR MARKETING MESSAGE
Pretty easy, eh?

By the way, I'm not just the creator of this four step process, I'm a user. Behold....

Click here to see my new company brand »

Sure, it's kinda lame. But honestly, folks, is it THAT much worse than some of the corporate brands that you see out there in the real world? And are the mission statement and marketing message THAT much weaker than the ones that get trotted out in all seriousness?

READERS: Anybody got some venture capital for FlipBlab? Paypal it to me ASAP!!!