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WEEK FIVE RECAP
Memo to Eric: A wise man once said, "You lay down with dogs and you'll get up with fleas." Eric teamed himself up with Evel Dick and now he needs a double dose of Frontline.
It all goes back to Nick. Who really voted for him to stay? And who voted for Mike to stay the week before? Both weeks there were two votes against Kail. No one will take responsibility for their actions except for Zack, the House Pariah, who admits to casting anti-Kail ballots the previous two weeks. Last week, Nick was incorrectly charged with being the second vote and it led to his eviction. Of course, it's been Eric, America's Player, who was doing America's bidding by voting against Kail.
Evel and Daniele suspect that Eric is the rogue voter. They devised a plan to eliminate him -- Daniele, the HOH, will put up Kail and Jen. But she will eventually back-door Eric in a clean, surgical strike. Her father is thrilled. She's daddy's little girl, after all!
They confided the plan to Jessica, who is the closest thing to a friend Daniele has in the house. She warned her close friend Eric, and, though sworn to secrecy, he confronted Evel, which gave Dick an excuse to bully someone other than Jen. Jen, happy to be out from under his thumb, stirred things up and plotted against Eric.
Suddenly, the other houseguests are waking up to the fact that Dick is unpredictable, volatile and dangerous. Whoa! Who'd a thunk? Under the guise of being a pierced, tattooed, nail-polished rebel who doesn't care what people think of him, Dick really doesn't care what people think of him. It's a novel strategy.
Moreover, Dick has been handling the houseguests, instead of it being the other way around. And now his entire Late Night Crew is trapped into being his obedient puppets. Or are they?
And then there were the banners. One flew over the house during the HOH competition: "We (heart) Nick. Amber and Eric are liars. LNC (Late Night Crew) is the Nerd Herd." To have someone from the outside world call them out during the game is bad news for Eric and Amber, who scrambled to defend themselves, even throwing dirt at each other. There were apparently other banners, as well (according to the live bloggers). It just gives ED more justification to target Eric.
Who will win POV? Will they use it to protect Eric? Can Eric wiggle his way out of this one? Will the rest of the LNC band together against Evel Dick and Daniele? Stay tuned!
WEEK FOUR RECAP
Is this the weepiest Big Brother ever? Does BB get a discount on tissues? He had better head off to Costco after this week of tears and misery inside his four walls.
It's been a month, nerves are raw and a profound homesickness has set in. First, Dustin had a good cry in the diary room after he read his letter from home, written by his brother. And Amber had a good cry – tears of joy! – when her BFH (best friend in the house) Dustin became HOH.("I … love … him … so … much!!!")
With Dustin calling the shots for the week, Jen was confident that she would be safe. After all, didn't she make sure that his enemy, Joe, was voted out the week that she was HOH? He owes her, she figures.
But Jen is still a controversial figure in the house because the others think that either she or Nick voted for Kail to leave and for Mike to stay; Nick is under suspicion because he was in an alliance with Mike and Zack and it's known that Zack cast the other vote for Kail, the leader of the misbegotten Mrs. Robinson alliance. Amber, who counts Nick as a friend, was among the first to spread the rumor he was the second vote.
Of course, it was America's Player, Eric, who was following orders when he voted for Kail. He was not a suspect, however and the other houseguests agreed that it was Nick who cast the vote for Kail. Like that was a bad thing.
What is clear to everyone inside the house is that temperatures are rising. Dick and Jen had several blow-ups – one of which ended with Dick pouring iced tea on her head. At the finale show, those two will either come to blows or announce their engagement, a la Rob and Amber.
Daniele, who finally got tired of Jen's constant digs, confronted the Beverly Hills nanny/aspiring model/Jensa Member. Turns out Jen's main complaint about Daniele is that Evel's daughter doesn't want to be her friend.
Kail, in an odd bit of strategy, offered herself up to Dustin to use as a pawn. He can nominate her, she told him, so long as she's not the actual target. Zack will be the actual target, he told her. So, after some thought, he nominated Jen and Kail for eviction. Though she should be used to being a nominee, Jen is still stung by what she sees as a betrayal by Dustin. Jen hid in the bathroom and cried. Oh, and Amber cried, too, but for no particular reason except that it was lunchtime.
Strangely, though Amber is constantly in tears, the perception in the house is that Kail is a fragile basket case. Hello? It makes you wonder, does Amber cry at the drop of a napkin when she's on the job as a Vegas cocktail waitress? "Excuse me, miss, I asked for lemon in my Diet Coke . . . Um, why are you crying? Okay, here's a big tip. Please go away."
Even ED shed some tears as he and Daniele shared a heart-to-heart talk about her and Nick, her and Dick and her in general. And Daniele, a teenaged girl trapped in the body of a woman, couldn't stop weeping over the situation with Nick – she was torn between her boyfriend outside of the house and the man she smooched with under the covers. It's all very Seventeen magazine.
Even the one person who seemed the most clear-eyed and rational, Jameka, revealed her emotional and spiritual side this week. Jameka was selected by Jen to play for her in the POV competition. This, Jameka announced, was a sign from God that if she, Jameka, were to win, that she would have to take Jen off the block, despite what Dustin wanted. Oh, and incidentally, she said, the winner of the game was already pre-ordained by God, which came as kind of a surprise to everyone else.
And so it came to pass that Jameka won the POV, Jen hopped off the chopping block and Dustin lost the respect of his friends, all within a few minutes. Dustin took the lead in the POV competition, which involved finding Big Brother slogans in pieces of bad art. When the show offered prizes in exchange for points, Dustin bought himself a trip to the Caribbean. He regained the lead, then lost it again by "buying" $5000 – even though the other contestants could have done the same thing but didn't to preserve his nominees. Dustin's actions were met with stunned silence. After he purposely lost the lead, Jameka won and gave the POV to Jen.
But who should replace her as a nominee? Why, Zack, which was Dustin's
plan all along, right? Except that Dustin nominated Nick, who thankfully, did not cry, though Amber, who set up his departure, wailed enough for both of them ("I … love … him … so … much!!!").
Rather than shedding a tear, a disgusted Nick gave himself a Mohawk,
not his best look ever. Eric, America's Player, also got a bad haircut and tried to convince the others to boot Kail, but, for the second week, he was unsuccessful. Nick was evicted by a vote of 6 to 2. Among those voting against him: Amber and Daniele, his closest "friends" in the house. They both burst into tears as the door closed behind him. Crocodile tears? Guilt? Pent-up sexual tension? Sheer strategy? We won't find out until it's their turn to leave the house to face Julie's questions.
This just in: Daniele won the endurance contest which began at the end of last night's show for HOH. Just a guess here, but Jen might want to start packing.
WEEK THREE RECAP
Well, it's not like his name is "Really Nice" Dick, right?
After enduring Jen's smug ways and Kail's backstabbing behavior, Evel Dick wasted no time in taking over as HOH. Everyone ooh'ed and aaah'ed over his photos, which included a beautiful picture of a pre-punk ED and a very young Daniele. Unlike most Heads of Household, he's already said that he doesn't want to spend much time in his deluxe quarters because he's going to stick close to the other houseguests and keep tabs on them.
Kail, in the meantime, was desperately searching for her alliance, which vanished during the vote on Thursday. The final tally was 9-1 — with Kail as the lone vote to evict Evel. Mike, Zack and Nick all parted company with her, but somehow forgot to let her know in advance. Oops.
So what was Kail thinking when she decided she'd rather have Joe in the house than ED? It would seem that both men would be repugnant to her religious beliefs — why pick one over the other? And in such a ham-handed, obvious way? Why even attempt to sway Daniele, his daughter, to vote against him? Kail seemed like she had so much on the ball the first week — what happened? Her explanations, especially to Evel, have been lame and lamer.
And while he contemplated his nominations — Nick was briefly considered, as was Mike — everyone knew that ED would ultimately select Kail and Jen, which he did. And he made sure that everyone understood that his choices were extremely personal.
Baby steps — that's what Daniele took in her father's direction. Confused and agitated by Nick's (mostly) unwanted affections, Daniele sought out Dick for a late night father-daughter talk. And ED sounded, well, parental and supportive as he tried to give Daniele the big-picture perspective on her in-house flirtation. Later, an emotional ED confided his own pain about Daniele's situation — and their estrangement — to Dustin.
Jen-uine moments: She wrestled with Eric and won, though she definitely used a few illegal moves (she explained that she had wrestled guys "in high school"; supply your own punchline in the comments section below). And the Jen statement of the week (thus far): while watching Jameka choke down a bowl of Slop, Jen admited, "I don't really feel bad for people that are on (slop). I suck at that, the feeling bad thing."
But the "BB" Slop diet became a thing of the past once the houseguests — working together for a change — had another nasty food challenge, just slightly less retch-worthy than the faux butter from Week One. It involved sliding into a vat of spaghetti and scooping up plastic meatballs with foods written on them. Everyone was super pleased that they were going to have sweetbreads for the week, until Evel Dick explained that these sweetbreads have no carbs, are an acquired taste and are most likely found on a French menu, not in the "BB8" refrigerator.
ED put thought and careful consideration into exactly how he planned to undermine Kail's confidence before the POV competition and bully her into losing. He mostly stuck to berating and intimidating her. His tactics worked handily and she was the first houseguest eliminated. Soon she was crying almost as much as Amber.
The POV competition involved standing on a stump with a drinking glass balanced on top of a large hat; the houseguests were dressed up as characters from "Alice in Wonderland." Soon it's just Jen and ED standing there and though Dick tried his best to convince Jen to step down by telling her that she's not his target this week, she stood firm.
Soon Mike -- who has had a change of heart since he abandoned Kail during the vote last week -- came out wearing funny costumes to distract ED, which angered the HOH; how dare Mike even consider upsetting the Supreme Commander? (Later Daniele warned her father that he's become overly aggressive and domineering and needs to dial it back before he alienates the rest of the house.) To paraphrase the Queen of Hearts from "Alice in Wonderland" -- off with Mike's head. Dick deliberately gave the POV to Jen, which she, of course, used on herself. And so it was that Mike ended up nominated for eviction, a selfless move not seen since Marcellus back on BB3 (in that case, it backfired and Marcellus was sent home).
Mike's not the only person to irritate Evel Dick -- he's also quite annoyed with Nick's hold over his daughter, which is another item on his and Daniele's Really Long List of Things to Argue About. Because she's so poised it's easy to forget that Daniele is only 20; however, when she argues with Dick, she sounds like a typical whiny teenager.
Speaking of teenagers, Eric, America's Player, is ordered to vandalize Jen's belongings. He squirts mustard onto her pillow. She is annoyed, but ultimately shrugs it off. BTW, did anyone else notice that America's Player has twin nipple rings? Who knew?
While we're on the topic of revealing details, Zack decided to streak to the pool. Predictably, the other houseguests took his towel and locked him out. That wacky Zack! He is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. (Later, he explained to Julie that he needed the streak to "get (his) high back." Dude, next time stick to Red Bull.)
The TV audience got to meet Daniele's boyfriend, Kris, who is about as opposite from her father as a man could possibly be. Well-scrubbed, short-haired, no nail polish, stable, sweet, cute, thoughtful, concerned, devoted, stable -- did we mention that he seemed stable? Meanwhile Daniele was burrowed under the covers with Nick, where they shared a not-so-surreptious smooch. And American women cried out in unison: Daniele! Don't do it!
Meanwhile, the houseguests talked amongst themselves about whether Kail had the emotional strength to remain in the house -- she had several crying jags and was spending her free time under the covers (without Nick). Then conversely, the group wondered, if she's having a melt-down, doesn't that make her less of a threat than Mike, who spends his free time lifting weights and keeping to himself? At least with Kail, what you see is what you get, they reason.
Unfortunately for Eric, America wants him to get Kail evicted, and though he tried mightily to convince ED and the others that she is an aggressive, smart and unpredictable player, no one really bought the arguement. Mike was voted out, 9-2 (his "close" friend Jen voted him out, while Wacky Zack voted for Kail, along with Eric). Afterward Mike contended that he didn't mind being evicted because he played the game with high morals and character.
Though Eric came close, Dustin won the HOH competition (it involved answering questions about the houseguests who have already been evicted). Will the power go to his head the way it did with ED? Will he be more than Dick's puppet? Who will he nominate for eviction? Stay tuned!
WEEK TWO RECAP:
Call her a Jenius, call her a member of Jensa — or, like the rest of the houseguests, call her names that aren't fit for a family Web site.
Any way you slice it, Jen is in the thick of things this week on "BB8"; as Head of Household, she's calling the shots, and there isn't a single houseguest who feels safe from the alliance-free "beauty." Jen, it seems, is unable to have a conversation with anyone unless it's about herself. She took down a picture of herself and her mother from the wall of the HOH room because she wasn't wearing makeup. And who can forget the now-famous Potholder Incident (she used a potholder to cover up her picture on the memory board because she felt the lighting was unflattering). It's hard to recall a houseguest who has been so unanimously reviled and ridiculed behind her back. Some of the guys even invented a Jen drinking game (take a sip every time she uses the pronoun "I" Whee!).
Her self-absorption already pushed one of her roommates to the breaking point (not that he wasn't halfway there already); Evel Dick, angered that a clueless Jen wandered into his room while he was sleeping to talk nonsense about drying her hair, told her where she could get off. Jen, in return, nominated him for eviction.
She entertained suggestions from several people as to who the other nominee should be. No surprise, Joe volunteered that Dustin would be a good person to evict. Eric, America's Player, followed the mandate from America and tried to get Jessica nominated (he appealed to Jen's vanity, imagine that). Kail cozied up to Jen and threw around some ideas, but Jen told her she was thinking of Nick, Kail's secret ally. Nick had been rejecting Jen's flirty overtures to spend time with Daniele. To take Nick off of the hot seat, Kail suggested ... Jessica.
Ultimately, Jen decided to try to remove her love rival. Declaring that she was tired of people with negative attitudes, she said she was nominating the two most negative people for eviction: Dick and his daughter, Daniele. This despite the fact that Dick and Daniele have been engaged in a delicate and often testy attempt at reconciliation. But, after all, it's all about Jen. Which makes sense in a Jen-uine sort of way.
Meanwhile, there was another revolting food challenge; thanks — but we're still recovering from last week's faux "butter" — that required the houseguests to scarf down "pies" made with odd combinations of ingredients which they had to identify. The men won, leaving the women to suffer a week of Big Brother Slop, making it two in a row for Daniele, who is not having a good game so far.
But wait: Nick gave her the key to his heart, which must make up for something (it was really the key to his luggage, but work with him here, people). Though Daniele has a real-life boyfriend, she seemed touched by his gesture. Or was she? (There's a school of thought on the show's message boards that says Daniele is just playing him and she's not interested in a showmance.)
Before the POV competition, Jen turned Enforcer and instructed the extra players, Mike, Amber and Joe, how she expected the game to go down. Amber, who seems to become more fragile by the day (she later explained to Julie that "I'm just a crier." Huh?) succumbed to the pressure and was reduced to helpless tears once again. Jen was eventually shamed into apologizing to Amber.
Inspired by Nick's romantic overtures, perhaps, Daniele was able to win a second POV, which she promptly used on herself. Jen, who had been trying to figure out her Plan B, had contemplated putting Nick on the chopping block. But how can you win the heart of someone who you've kicked out of the house? Her logical side (!) prevailed and she put Joe, who has plenty of acquaintances but few close friends, up for eviction. And if you think he was ticked off when he saw Dustin walk through the door, it's nothing compared to what Joe said about Jen after the POV ceremony.
Poor, Eric. As America's Player, his new task was to "sleepwalk" into someone's bed and America — what a sense of humor you've got — picked Joe. Though Eric kind-of climbed onto Joe's side of one of the giant beds, Joe didn't wake up and kick him out, so he failed in his attempt. He also tried again to get Jessica to replace Daniele, but Jen rudely cut him off and walked away, leaving him literally swinging in the hammock.
Best visual of the week: Jen strutting around the house in the skin-tight red unitard that she "won" during the POV competition. She has to wear it for a week. She's going commando and her roommates are, frankly, embarrassed at how revealing the outfit is. Hello! Paging Dr. Freud!!
Joe finally woke up, smelled the coffee and realized he was drinking it alone. He cornered as many houseguests as he could to tell them, "I'm not ready to go home." They all murmured words of support. When he told that to Dustin, however, he told Joe that both Karma and Payback are a bitch. Snaps!
The only houseguest who did take Joe seriously was Kail, who actively, and not very stealthily, campaigned to get Evel out of the house. She was so chatty that her behavior almost immediately came to Dick's attention and the two had a nasty screaming match. Roll over, Jen: Looks like you've got some company in Dick's doghouse. Kail tried to convince the other members of her "Mrs. Robinson" alliance that they should target Evel and not Joe. They stifled their yawns. And America told Eric that he should vote to evict Joe, which he was all too happy to do.
When the dust cleared, it was Joe who was evicted, with a vote of 9-to-1. Kail was the only vote against Evel, having been deserted by her "boys." Joe was not completely surprised — well, perhaps at just how eager his housemates were to get rid of him — and he had plenty of bon mots and dirt to dish about Dustin (see the interview he gave Julie Chen on The Early Show and the exclusive Web-only interview he gave her after the show; links are on the right side of this page, where it says "CBS News Video.")
Here's one of the fun things about BB: One minute, you can be down and out, sleeping on the floor, begging for a bowl of Slop, and by the end of the hour, you're the King, plotting the demise of your enemies, luxuriating in your own Kingdom, and pulling all the strings. So, mazel tov Evel Dick, watching you win HOH last night moments after evading eviction will be one of the high points of the season.
Coming up next: Evel Dick's nominations. As if he had to give it any thought. Play dead, Kail!
WEEK ONE RECAP: It wasn't pretty when Dustin realized his ex, Joe, was in the house. Daniele was in tears when she saw that her estranged father, "Evil" Dick, was along for the ride. And Carol and Jessica share some unhappy history — though their conflict, over $5, started when they were in junior high.
Will any of these three pairs be able to resolve their simmering anger? Will they eventually work together or will they plot to have each other evicted? Will their misery affect the whole group?
The only houseguest who was truly happy was Eric. That's because he's going to be playing as "America's Houseguest." He'll be following instructions voted on by "Big Brother" viewers, and for every five tasks he is able to complete in the house, he will win $10,000. His first assignment is to tell someone about a tragedy in his life; America has voted on which person he'll tell.
Kail, the first HOH, picked Amber and Carol as the first nominees for eviction; she based this on the fact that they were the first two contestants eliminated from the HOH competition. Everyone thought this was reasonable except, not surprisingly, Amber and Carol. Incidentally, Kale was one of the first out of the box in creating a secret alliance. She coerced Mike, Nick and Zach to join her.
There was a food competition that involved scraping faux "butter" off the bodies of houseguests into a vat of faux popcorn and Amber's long, curly hair was her team's secret weapon. Her group will have food this week, while the losers will subsist on the "BB" Slop diet (the same "diet" that helped Chicken George lose so much weight last season). Even Jameka, who loves oatmeal, found the Slop unpalatable. Question: What exactly is in the slop? And are the houseguests able to doctor it up with condiments?
And, finally, in a "BB" first, a contestant had a complete and total meltdown over ... a publicity photo. For real. The other houseguests thought that Jen was kidding when she loudly protested that her photo had "bad lighting" that gave her "bags" under her eyes; she then burst into tears and covered the offending photo with a pot holder. We know this wasn't a joke because she also wept in the diary room. Jen has just gone down in "BB" history as the Most. Shallow. Houseguest. Ever. And that was before we all saw her "Jen-ius" and "Jen-sa Member" T-shirts.
There was little or no catfighting between Carol and Amber as they jockeyed for position. Daniele won the first Power of Veto competition, but declined to help either woman. Though Carol did ask other houseguests for help, including Zach and Mike, she seemed fairly stoic. In all of her diary room appearances, Amber looked like she just had a good cry.
America voted and asked Eric to evict Carol.
In the end, the vote was 10-1 to evict Carol, with the sole vote for Amber coming from Jen, who further cemented her position as the House outcast — the one person who annoys everyone else. Which is why it's sort of delicious that she won the HOH competition.
Carol had plenty of insights on her supposed feud with Jessica, and much more, when she spoke to Julie Chen exclusively for the Early Show website. Watch her comments here.