Armed & Famous
CBS has a new show called "Armed and Famous," if you can believe it — or if you can believe CBS had a good enough legal contract to put weapons in the hands of these people.
They took celebrities and put them through a police boot camp. Attempting to enforce the law is Latoya Jackson, "Jackass" star Jason "Wee Man" Acuña, Jack Osbourne, WWE wrestler Trish Stratus, and Erik Estrada. They will train at a really police academy and try and gain the respect of the real cops.
Am I dreaming? Oh, wait, I am not — this really is a show! I have a feeling that this show is going to be good ONLY because some of these people can barely handle themselves let alone criminals. Let the smack down begin!
Training starts in small town Muncie, Ind., and the town will never be the same. No spray tan booths, Ivy restaurant and paparazzi, will these celebs know what to do with themselves?
The sergeant explains that this training is no joke and any horsing around will cause them to get ejected from the program. The sergeant seems pretty scary, but not as scary at Latoya's nose — sorry I had to at least once.
The celebs are first shown a tape of police officers of routine traffic stops getting shot. I guess they are trying to scare them into being serious.
One by one, they all attempt to perform a routine traffic stop. Erik kicks it off since he has played a cop on TV for quite some time.
Latoya goes balls-to-the-wall and shoots the unarmed passenger of the car and Trish would have been shot about 100 times if it was real — plus she accidentally shot herself with her own fake gun. Oh, this is going to be good!
Next up — Taser time! The rules are you cannot posses a Taser unless you have been Tasered yourself. I think I want to look this rule up because it sounds like they just wanted to Taser these celebs. I think a new show was just born: Taser a celeb, good old fashioned family fun.
Trish is the brave one and wants to get Tasered with the hooks, not with the alligator clips, like the rest. She bleeds a little and gains some respect from everyone else.
Hand to hand combat is the next lesson for the Tasered celebs. This includes self-defense, martial arts, etc. After some butt whopping, they must go do their own laundry — this may be the biggest task for them yet. Latoya seems to be soaking in all the laundry lessons she is learning, like you can't put a dollar into the quarter slots for laundry detergent.
Next day is time to get real, they get to actually fire six rounds at a target. It's obvious that Jack has had some practice before with guns, and that Latoya hasn't, most of her rounds are off the target completely.
Once the firing squad is through, it's time for them to put on their real uniforms and attend the ceremony to recognize they have passed the training.
Now the work really begins. Time to hit the streets. All the celebs get real partners to start their rounds. I think that's a good idea to have one experienced police officer there.
Wee Man gets the first call to a drunk driver. He does a good job of detaining the guy and his crack pipe! Jack Osbourne has to break up a good old fashioned fight, while Erik helps SWAT raid an old lady's drug house. Latoya has to get rough with some guys, and Trish puts out a fire.
Seems like the group is getting along well and we will see in the coming weeks if they can hack it.