4 Secrets to a Fantastic Business Dinner Conversation

I went to a great business dinner this week. It involved the usual trappings -- Morton's for the meal, ridiculously expensive wines, private room, great server -- you get the picture. But, that's not what made it so memorable.

One of the owners of the firm stood up and gave a toast to his grandfather: "My grandfather was an immigrant who came to this country at 11-years-old with a buck in his pocket and no ability to speak the language. I'm his American dream. To have his grandchild complete an advanced degree, own part of a great company and live in freedom was why he came and worked so hard. I toast him tonight."

The CEO then said, "Thank you for that great toast. We are probably all a part of our parents', our grandparents' or great grandparents' American dreams. I would love to hear some of the other peoples' stories." And with that, great stories, laughs, and relationship building started happening at a much more remarkable level.

A couple of tips if you are going to do this:

1. Don't push - If someone doesn't want to share or seems really uncomfortable, then just say, "We can come back to you later if you want or jump in when you want later." If the person doesn't jump in, don't go back.
2. Keep it moving - Some people love a stage and they can take a story out forever. If you find someone like this, grab a thread of their story and interrupt -- for example, "Your grandparents came through Ellis Island? I wonder how many else's grandparents came through Ellis Island -- can I see a show of hands?" Then re-direct the conversation to one of the other people who hasn't spoken. Monopolizers, often CEOs, can be a real buzz-kill on a conversation like this one.
3. Help out the speaker - Since you have opened up the conversation through this approach, you need to keep the conversation interesting and moving through questions to speakers when they are either telling a boring story or droning on.
4. Get your own story right - If you tell the first story, you need to include fun details, a quick anecdote, a physical description, even something risque. You are setting the bar of whether these stories will be sleepy travelogues or fantastic fun.

Flickr Photo courtesty of Sitearm, cc 2.0