10 Ludicrous Executive Perks and Why CEOs Should Dump Them

Everyone loves perks. If you say you don't, you're either BSing or BSing yourself. We all love special treatment like getting upgraded on a flight or a nice table at a restaurant we frequent.

My wife and I are regulars at a local Chinese restaurant. They make a dish for us that's not on the menu. Sometimes when we get takeout they throw in some soup we didn't order, on the house. It always makes me feel good when they do that.

Yup, we all love perks. And we especially love perks at work.

When I became a vice president of a very large company that bought my mid-sized company, I couldn't believe the perks. Just like the guy in the National Car Rental commercial with the "choose any car in the isle" slogan, I found myself saying, "I can get used to this."

Well, that's exactly what's happened in corporate America. Big company executives have gotten used to the perks. It's not so much the case for small and mid-sized firms. And, frankly, when I left that big company for smaller pastures, I didn't miss the perks one bit.

But that's just me. You've got to wonder why, when America's hurting, jobs are scarce, and proxy statements and 10Ks are being scrutinized like never before, do CEOs and their boards continue to cling to ludicrous perks that rub everyone the wrong way?

There are two reasons, actually.

• For one thing, some of those 'perks' aren't perks at all. They're mischaracterized by the media, bloggers, and shareholder activists. Those so-called perks, like security for high-profile CEOs, actually benefit the company and its shareholders. It sort of makes sense.
• The second reason is the big one, though. CEOs are no different from you and me. They like perks. Nevertheless, that's not a good enough reason to keep them. Not in this day and age. Big company executives and their boards need to get with the program and dump all those ludicrous perks. If not because it's the right thing to do, then because it's good PR and good for morale.

Anyway, you be the judge of what's ludicrous and what isn't. Here are 10 CEO Perks from USA Today, and my take on whether they're legit or ones the CEO and board should dump. I've got to warn you, though. Some of them are likely to raise your blood pressure.

1. Ray Irani of Occidental Petroleum received almost $400,000 worth of financial planning advice. I think that's one of the most egregious examples of unnecessary perks. You've got to wonder, would he be so free and easy with his own money?
2. Black & Decker CEO Nolan Archibald received the equivalent $526,391 for personal travel on the company jet, $39,676 for financial planning, $25,722 for cars, $4,528 for sports and entertainment tickets, $1,820 for club dues. As far as I'm concerned, those are all ludicrous perks he should dump.
3. Oracle spent $4,642 on legal advice to help Larry Ellison on disclosure requirements and nearly $1.5 million for on home security for the notorious CEO. I wouldn't characterize either as a perk. And while security is pretty much a necessity for a high-profile CEO like Ellison, I have no idea why the billionaire can't pay for it himself. Bottom line: he should.
4. Wynn Resorts CEO Steve Wynn got the equivalent of $942,631 for personal use of the company jet, $419,860 for a villa, and $25,907 for a personal driver. All stuff that shouldn't be funded by company shareholders.
5. One of the strangest perks is Macy's CEO Terry Lundgren receiving over $50,000 in store merchandise discounts and $33,000 to cover taxes on that discount. Do other employees get tax compensation for their employee discounts?
6. Susan Ivey of Reynolds American actually gave up her executive perks plan ... she just took the cash it was worth - $79,000 - instead. You've got to be kidding me.
7. Martha Stewart got $55,725 for a driver and $29,538 for a personal fitness trainer, presumably so she'll look great on the air. Like it or not, that's probably legit. The driver thing sound like something Stewart can and should pay for herself.
8. Believe it or not, dozens of companies now require their CEOs to use the corporate jet for all personal travel, citing post-9/11 safety concerns. American Express CEO Ken Chenault expensed over $400,000 in private travel for both 2008 and 2009. I think that's a crock. Security concerns for high-profile CEOs who receive death threats is one thing. Non-specific terrorist concerns are, in my opinion, ridiculous.
9. Douglas Conant of Campbell Soup gets $48,000 a year for estate planning and tax services. The same goes for other company execs. The reason? Get this: "So that executives are not distracted from devoting their time and energy to their responsibilities," according to Campbell. U.S. Steel actually cites the same reason for providing executives with designated parking spaces. You can't get much more ludicrous than that.
10. Outgoing Cardinal Health CEO Kerry Clark will be getting about $31,000 a year for tax grossed-up medical benefits through 2012. After 36 years with the company, I don't think that's such a big deal.

It reminds me of the time I was a kid and wanted to get my parent's permission to go to a ballgame. I remember crying, "But mom, all the other kids' parents are letting them go!" Guess what? I got to go. Hard to believe, but that same tactic and logic works in the boardrooms of corporate America, as well.

The good news is that some boards and CEOs are beginning to wake up to how ridiculous most of these perks are and how bad it looks to employees, shareholders, customers, and the general public. United Healthcare Group and Comerica, for example, have eliminated all executive perks. Hopefully, that's a sign of a trend in the making.

Also check out:

• Are CEOs Worth It?
• A Mandate For Executive Pay for Performance
• Executive Pay for Performance Doesn't