U.S. military action in Iran stirs up old concerns for families of service members

Several days of ongoing U.S. military operations in Iran have evoked old fears for some families of service members who lost their loved ones in Afghanistan. 

"This is a pain time doesn't heal, but you do learn to live with it," said Shana Chappell, an American Gold Star Mother whose son Kareem Nikoui died in 2021 when the U.S. was rushing to withdraw from the Middle East, ending its 20-year presence in the region. He was one of 13 service members killed in a suicide bombing at the Kabul airport. 

She says that seeing the military engage in the Middle East again is difficult. 

"It means more parents are going to get the knock on the door, and I don't think people realize when you get that knock on the door, your life changes forever," Chappell said. "You're not just a mom grieving a child, you're grieving who you once were."

While she no longer finds interest in politics, it doesn't escape her that her son died for patriotism. 

"That's something he wanted to do since he was a toddler. He loved it," she said.

Related: Norco community gathers to honor the 13 service members killed in Kabul airport bombing

She still visits his grave every week, trying to understand the choice he made. 

"When I come up here and I talk to him, I say things like, 'I wish you would have never joined, because then you'd still be here. But then I say that, 'I'm proud of you, because you did join and you followed your dreams,'" Chappell said. 

Chappell isn't sure how Kareem would feel about the recent activity in the Middle East, especially since he was half-Persian with family still in Iran. 

After President Trump said that they haven't ruled out sending boots on the ground as the military operations continue for at least the next four weeks, she fears for both those in the military and on the ground. 

"If I had been there and made it home, I would be pissed we were back in the Middle East, because I would be like, 'Hey man, what are we doing back there? Didn't we just lose 13 service members?'" she said. 

As the world watches the latest conflict unfold, Chappell hopes that everyone understands that the freedom they crave comes at a cost, one that includes her son.