Moms Memorial Garden in Bellwood gives parents who lost child place to grieve

For nearly two decades, a mother has been taking care of a special garden along the Illinois Prairie Path, just west of Chicago.

At the Moms Memorial Garden in Bellwood, Illinois, the names you'll find there are as striking as the flowers.

Even the breeze comes and goes, but for Phyllis Duncan, it seems to have a perennial presence at the garden.

She plants herself in Bellwood in the morning along the path six days a week every month.

There's work to do every season, because the garden grows every time a budding life doesn't get a chance to bloom.

"This is a special place. It's an emotional place. It's a place of refuge where mothers can come and see their child's name and sit here and reminisce and think about what was, what could have been and what is," she said.

The more than 70 names written on paver stones represent men and women from the near west suburbs to Chicago's West Side.

"Who have lost their lives to gun violence, reckless homicide and suicide."

Young men like Marty Burtin, Jr., who was killed after being shot 19 times.

"I just miss him so much. He's my only son. My baby boy."

It's been ten years, but Teresa Burtin says she hasn't begun to grieve.

"When I see myself break down, I always say stop, but my husband and my kids and grandkids say, you know, to let it go, but I can't. I can't," she said.

For parents, Tiffany Swygert and George Fox, two years later, feel no different than the day they lost their son Jason.

"He went to a party with a couple of coworkers after work and did not come back home," Swygert said.

"Something is wrong. This is not normal, and it has gotten to the point where it seems to be normal," Phyllis said.

Eighteen years ago, Phyllis lobbied the village to set aside a small plot beside the prairie path for a garden. She calls it Moms Memorial Garden — named for her support group, Mothers of Murdered Sons and Slain Daughters.

"When the women come here, and they look at me with tears in they eyes and they body is just shaking with grief, I understand," she said.

Phyllis lost her son Dodavah 21 years ago in a drive-by shooting. She said the last time she saw her son was on Mother's Day. 

"My son was a beautiful, caring young man who liked to make people laugh, who was the baby boy of the family. The youngest," she said. "I still have days where I'm just emotionally messed up."

The garden allows Phyllis to grow in her grief as she helps other parents navigate their own.

"She just has that motherly love that you can't buy, and it's genuine," Fox said. 

"I just love that lady. I just love her," Burtin said.

A mother who tends her community as well as her garden.

Phyllis recently hosted a community day of remembrance in Bellwood, where family members brought photos of their loved ones and gathered at the garden.

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