Celebrity chef Curtis Duffy tells story of his trauma, triumphs in memoir

For 25 years, chef Curtis Duffy has been making his mark on the Chicago food scene — earning James Beard Awards, Michelin stars, and celebrity status.

Now, for the first time, Duffy is telling his story in his own words — from a traumatic childhood to the top of the culinary world. Duffy's memoir, "Fireproof: Memoir of a Chef," is out on Tuesday.

"For me, it's time. It's always about the time, right?" Duffy said. "You can never cheat time. Time allows us to hone our skill, hone everything that we do."

Duffy has spent the last 35 years honing his craft.

"I've always felt that you have a responsibility to yourself to be great," said Duffy, "and no one else is going to give that to you. No one else is going to force you to do that."

It was that mindset that has helped propel Duffy from a childhood defined by chaos in small-town Ohio to becoming one of America's best chefs. He has risen through the ranks of Chicago's most critically acclaimed restaurant — Charlie Trotter's, Alinea, and Avenues — to leading his own, Grace, formerly at 652 W. Randolph St., and now, Ever at 1340 W. Fulton St.

The story is spelled out in "Fireproof," written with friend Jeremy Wagner.

"It gave me the opportunity to kind of just tell those stories even though I've told them before. But I actually have a place to put them away," Duffy said. "Like now, I feel like I don't have to carry them with me. I have a place to just put it on the shelf. If I want to ever dive back in, it's right there."

It is clear from page one that Duffy has had a lot to carry. His parents died by murder-suicide when he was 19 years old. In his memoir, Duffy details the abuse he suffered as a child — but is careful to not paint his father as a monster.

"What he was taught is what he was teaching us. He didn't know any better, you know?" said Duffy. "And for me, it was so important to kind of break that cycle as I became a father."

How Duffy was able to break that cycle of poverty and abuse started with an understanding, even as a child, that there had to be something else out there.

"I had dreamt, like, there's got to more than this. Like I had not seen the world, of course — I was 13 years old — but I knew there was more out there," said Duffy. "When you see a glimpse of light, you chase it. And that's what I did."

That light appeared in the form of one incredible middle school teacher and an introduction to cooking.

"What I felt at the time was love, you know? It was just pure positivity, and it was so needed at the time," Duffy said. "So I just embraced it so much."

When Duffy found cooking, more positive influences found him. But as he poured himself into restaurant work, his father's life was falling apart.

"So now at this point, everybody's out of the house — my brother, my sister, my mom, me. And I felt very sympathetic," Duffy said. "I felt very sad… because here he is all alone now, and this is his life — and he couldn't deal with it."

Maybe the most surprising twist in Duffy's story is a letter his father wrote him shortly before Duffy's father took his own estranged wife hostage, killed her, and then killed himself.

"Curt," it reads, "this is Dad. You're a very special young man and I wish I could tell you how proud of you I am…. You'll be a great chef, no doubt in my mind, you'll be one of the best in the world someday…. Please be a better person than I was. I know you can."

Duffy said it haunts him to this day that his father wrote that letter, and there was so much love and wisdom within it. He has to reconcile that person with the person his father had been for most of his childhood.

"Well, I often think about, you know, it would have been nice to have that through my life, and that affirmation through my childhood — and the belief and the vision that he sees, and he clearly writes there, verbalized to me as a child, you know? I mean, that letter is pure love," said Duffy, "and, you know, we didn't see that growing up. Very rarely, we got to see the tender, soft side of my father through that. That's why that letter is so special to me."

The letter fueled Duffy to keep pushing forward and build a career in Chicago. His ascent was swift, but not without its setbacks — the biggest of which happened in 2017, after a bad investor deal prompted the abrupt and painful closure of his three-Michelin-star masterpiece, Grace.

"I try to look at it from a positive side, because I learned a lot from that failure. You know, I learned a lot — and it made me a better chef, a better person, a better leader, a better businessman, a better entrepreneur to now have Ever, After, and The Canvas," said Duffy. "That was a win for me. Whether it was a loss or not, that was a win — because I'm in a much better place than I was before."

At 50 years old, Duffy is the happiest he's ever been — thanks in large part to meeting the love of his life, Jennifer.

"It is the best time of my life, like the last 10 years. And it's all a hundred percent because of her, and what she brings to the table every single day, you know?" Duffy said. "She makes me a better person."

And "better" is what Duffy is chasing every day at his two-Michelin-star restaurant, Ever.

"We're just as hungry as we were when we were chasing then," said Duffy, "and I will continue to do what I got to do every day until I get that third star. It's there."

Duffy believes it is just a matter of time.