BOSTON (CBS) -- Sports Hub listeners are quite familiar with the hot takes of former NFL quarterback Chris Simms by now. You may remember him as the guy who said last season that Tom Brady was no longer a top-five quarterback in the league. He backed up that "argument" by saying Andrew Luck "doesn't have Jonas Gray" to fall back on.
No need to get upset about Simms' comments. It's obvious to anyone with a brain how great Brady is, and his takes are a pretty clear case of trolling. He has anti-Brady trolling down to a science at this point.
But Simms somehow topped himself with his latest take on Brady, and of course it's about DeflateGate. Even though it's utterly pointless and fruitless to discuss whether Brady is innocent or guilty at this point, Simms still felt the need to bring it up in a video on Bleacher Report - and get your welding masks ready because this might be the hottest take you've ever encountered.
Simms somehow, some way, took the reinstatement of John Jastremski and Jim McNally by the NFL as proof that Tom Brady is guilty of deflating footballs. Let that sink in - but in the words of Lewis Black, don't think about it too long or blood will shoot out of your nose:
In case the video doesn't work or you just don't want to look at this cretin's face, here's the meat of his take:
"First of all, any time you have low-level employees, not making a lot of money for a billion-dollar corporation, that drug this organization through the mud for the last eight or nine months, they would have been fired right away. But oh, wait...we know they were following orders from someone - Tom Brady - to take air out of the football. So in that, yes, it makes Tom Brady - I think - look guilty."
Now just pick your jaw up off the floor and repeat to yourself, "It's only a troll, it's only a troll, it's only a troll..."
Simms' argument is so backwards, so frustratingly obtuse, it's impossible to ignore. You know Jastremski and McNally were taking orders from Brady? Oh, so you must have proof that Ted Wells' multimillion-dollar investigation couldn't find? It's impossible be that maybe, just maybe, nobody did anything wrong?
Look, if you hate Brady and the Patriots of course you have a right to be suspicious. But the fact is, the NFL set up the Patriots with a sting operation and still couldn't prove any wrongdoing on the part of Brady, and tried to suspend him four games for "general awareness". Brady won in court, and has turned talk of possible wrongdoing into a proverbial dead horse.
Simms continues to beat that horse, and at this point Patriots fans just have to stand back in awe at his next-level trolling performance. Please, fellow Patriots fans, don't get outraged at this take. I know it's hard to resist being exasperated at Simms' continued anti-Brady trolling. But at this point you just have to pity him. He now has to resort to the most twisted of takes to get attention.
I feel dirty that I gave Simms the attention he seeks, but at the same time I feel bad. It's rare for a sports media personality to embarrass himself the way Simms does on a regular basis. Of all the DeflateGate takes, this one tops them all.
Simms is now easily the all-time champion of anti-Patriots trolls, and at this point you should just feel sorry for him.
Matt Dolloff is a digital producer for CBSBostonSports.com and is generally aware that it is more probable than not that Chris Simms is a troll. His opinions do not reflect that of CBS or 98.5 The Sports Hub. Read more from Matt here and follow him on Twitter @mattdolloff.
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