DEFEND YOUR RIDE: Josh On The UMBC Campus

Q: Why is your car named the Mistress?

A: It was a drunk brainstorming session. My friends and I always assumed if she was a lady, she'd be a firey lady and she is. I love the Mistress.

Q: What's her main use?

A: Everything. Whenever I need to go from point A to point B, I use her. She's my primary means of transportation. One of the main things is driving to class.

Q: What's parking like on campus?

A: Parking's pretty terrible on UMBC, but when they see me and Mistress rolling up they get the hell out of my way.

Q: What do you usually listen to?

A: Mistress usually likes bumping Lil B. His music makes me feel real strong. It makes me feel like I have a lot of heart.

Q: What's the longest trip you've taken?

A: Once I went to see my girlfriend at her house in Canada. It was fine until we got to New York. I was paying attention to everything else, but somehow missed the speed limit sign change. Through some not-so-quick thinking on my part, I decided to acknowledge that I was speeding, and said I knew what the speed limit was.

Q: How much was the ticket?

A: It was a $115 ticket, plus an $85 fee for out-of-staters. It all came out to $200, and I said, "OK, great." Assuming that was the end of it, I got a letter in the mail from the DMV in New York saying, "Congrats, you got six points, and you owe another $300 on top of that." All in all, the ticket cost me six points on my license and $500.

Q: Did you get mad at the Mistress?

A: I wasn't mad at the Mistress. I can't get mad at her for that.

Q: Has anyone ever hurt the Mistress?

A: Once. It was July 1st actually. I ran some errands with my girlfriend. I couldn't have been gone for more than three hours. When I left, the car was fine. When I came back, the first thing I saw was a styrofoam cup shoved in the windshield wiper. At first I thought, "Aw, that's messed up, why would someone do that?" As I get closer, I see the damage is a little bit more extensive. I see the rear taillight's smashed. There are scratches all around the back of the bumper. There were half-dollar sized dings all around the back of the trunk. There's plastic shoved in my key cylinder in my driver-side door. Someone wrote a not very polite expletive on my rear windshield. They also peed on the door.

Q: Did you get into a rage?

A: I was pretty annoyed to say the least, but I couldn't have been more happy with the Baltimore County cops that day. They found the culprits in a matter of hours. It was a couple of nine year olds.

Q: You and the Mistress have been through a lot. How'd you get her in the first place?

A: My grandfather passed away a couple years ago and that left my grandmother with two cars. Since she obviously wasn't going to be utilizing both of them, she gave me the PT Cruiser.

Q: Sorry to hear that.

A: Yeah, it's actually a sad story. But it's OK. I'll have The Mistress's shoulder to cry on later.