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Movie Review: Planes

Money, money, money, money, money. That is why we have the new film Planes from the World of Cars. Just go down any toy aisle and you will see a slew of the Disney inspired Cars toys just waiting to be purchased and stepped on by parents with bare feet in the middle of the night. To be honest, I'm not even sure why I'm writing this review. It doesn't matter if Planes is the worst movie of the year in my opinion. Parents are still going to take to their kids to see this movie anyway. I pity those parents that have to sit through that excruciating 82 minutes of terrible family cinema. The World of Cars has officially run out of gas creatively and it's no wonder Pixar removed their name from the title of Planes.

Since I still have a job to do, I'll try to make this short and sweet. Planes is the story of Dusty, a lowly crop duster who wants to race with the jets and speed planes of the world. Conveniently there is a qualifying race near by that Dusty enters and through a chain of events qualifies to race around the world. Dusty butts heads with the other planes, but gradually gains their respect. You people know the family animated formula, except this time all the heart, action and especially the humor is absent. The voice talents including Dane Cook, Brad Garrett & Cedric the Entertainer are left with zero-content to work with so all the voices seem to blend into the crowd. The plot, the look and direction screams of a direct to DVD release, which was the original plan for Planes.

Disney's plan is to have Planes be the first in a new trilogy. Are you kidding me? What's next? Trains and Boats? Here's my idea, delve into who created all these cars living on this alternate Earth. Were they created by man? Did all the machines destroy mankind like in the Terminator and Maximum Overdrive? I need to know what kind of strange world this is where tractors are cows. Also does the World of Cars reside in the same universe as Prometheus and Alien? Okay, I kind of ran off the tracks with that last question, but I had to do something to keep this review of Planes entertaining for all my readers. I couldn't have imagined anything being worse than Grown Ups 2, but Planes managed to make it happen with a glorious crash and burn. Overall, I give Planes 1 out of 4 potatoes.

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