Why It's So Difficult to Look in the Mirror
Do you know someone who's always looking at himself in the mirror? That might illustrate his vanity. In business, however, looking in the mirror is a necessary behavior. How can we improve without taking a good hard look at ourselves often? It seems common sense and yet so many people have such a hard time doing it.
In my CEO-peer group, there's a member (let's call him "Ted") who was asked to take the Myers-Briggs Personality Assessment so the group members and Ted could better understand his personality type. We've all done it [I'm INTJ], except for Ted. He keeps promising us each month he'll do it, but never does. I'm not sure why that is, but I do have some ideas about why many people avoid such self-examinations.
The obvious reason is that people are fearful of what they'll learn. Another reason is they already know something about themselves that embarrasses them or irks others and they don't want to see it confirmed on paper. Others might have such an ego that they just will not admit flaws of any type. They see admitting flaws as a sign of weakness. Still, some just don't believe in introspection, seeing it as time-wasting, psychobabble.
In one of my favorite books, The Breakthrough Company, the author Keith McFarland insists that one of the key requirements for success is joining peer groups. In so doing, you can get a more accurate assessment of yourself. Even the most self-aware and astute people have difficulty seeing themselves as they truly are. In the group I'm in, other members raise questions about me and my business that I might be unable to see because I'm too close to the situation.
Each year in our Strategic Planning session, before we decide what we think needs to be done, we first re-evaluate our core values to be sure that our current values still correctly reflect our organization. We then determine whether new ones should be added. Only after this self-awareness exercise do we determine what our future might be. It's a good way for companies to ensure what's not only valued, but also expected in order for employees to maintain their employment. You can ensure all new employees have those values, too, and help set the proper course.
Next week, I'm attending an intimate dinner for fifteen, where we'll be discussing leadership, and what it takes to be successful. To make it fun, we've been asked to bring a gag gift that exemplifies what we think is a symbol of our leadership styles. I'm bringing a mirror.
How do you convince those you lead to look at themselves?
Photo courtesy of Flickr, by Hamner_Fotos