Why BSers Get Ahead

BSers get ahead. It's a fact of business life. Here's how it works, the downside of being a BSer, and 10 common characteristices for you to recognize them.

When I was a young engineer at Texas Instruments, I quickly learned that accepting responsibility is the way up the corporate ladder.

If you boldly say, "Yes sir, I can do that, no problem," then scramble like crazy to figure out what to do, your responsibility increases.

But if you whine, "Well, I can try, but I don't really have any experience with [fill in the blank], so I'll have to take some time to learn ...," you might as well say, "No thanks, boss" and save everyone the trouble.

So I learned to BS. Of course, I got the job done in the end. That's because I'm a relatively intelligent and resourceful BSer. If you can't deliver, on the other hand, the house of cards comes crashing down. I guess that's what happened to the likes of WorldCom's Bernie Ebbers, the poster boy for dysfunctional CEOs.

You see, Bernie Ebbers was a milk man-gym teacher-motel owner who actually thought he could run a telecom empire. That's delusional, but he managed to pull it off - for a time - by leveraging WorldCom's overinflated valuation to gobble up ever bigger companies. Wall Street - a bunch of BSers themselves - played along by endorsing the deals, and life was great. That is, until the dot-com bubble burst and Ebbers had to find a way to hide the mounting tide of red ink, aka fraud.

Some BSers will stop at nothing to fill their bottomless need for attention and adoration. That would be the Ebbers kind. Others have a kind of moral compass and know where to draw the line. That would be my kind. Either way, the upper echelon of corporate America is full of BSers because they're the ones that accept ever-increasing responsibility with no regard for actual knowledge or capability.

Boards of directors are especially susceptable to artful BSers.

BSers have certain common qualities, which I'll list here to help you identify them (as if you really need help):

• Nearly limitless charm and charisma
• Ability to sell ice cubes to an Eskimo
• Will stop at nothing to get attention
• Climb the corporate ladder like jungle monkeys
• As dysfunctional as the Pope is catholic
• Remarkably skewed self image
• Attention span of a flea
• Grandiose visions
• Deep-seated inferiority complex
• Sees life as a zero-sum-game they must win

Go ahead, share your BSer coworker, manager, CEO, whatever story; it's really an uplifting feeling. You know you want to.