Top 10 Rude Things Customers Do

Let's face it: sometimes customers are rude. Over the past week, readers have sent me numerous examples of egregious customer rudeness. Here are the top ten, along with my "best response" to the situation... Best, that is, if you still want to make a sale.

I've also included, just for yuks, a "worst response" that would probably get you thrown out of the account... if you actually dared to use it.

By the way, I'm very much open to "better" (or "worse") responses than the one's I've supplied. If I think yours is superior, I'll update the post accordingly.

Click HERE to see the first rude customer behavior
BTW, if you like this post, check out:

• The Top 10 Lies Customer Tell
• The Top 5 Dirty Tricks Customers Play

• Example: "The appointment is at (insert time here), then they make you wait AT least 45 minutes. Then act as if they didn't realize you were there."
• Best Response: Pull out your laptop and smartphone and get some work done. When the client "notices" you're there, ask him to wait for 15 seconds while you finish up an email. Then go into the meeting with a positive attitude.
• Worst Response: "I needed to use the restroom, but didn't want to be gone when you finally remembered we had a meeting. Sorry about your potted plant."

• Example: "After spending an hour or more putting together a quote and contacting him back, the customer blows me off. He might say something like: 'We already have agreements in place,' or 'We only buy from preferred vendors.'"
• Best Response: "Well, I can see that you're not going to buy from us right now. Is there anything that we can do now so that we can work together in the future?"
• Worst Response: "Here's a bill for an hour of my time. See you in small claims court."

• Example: "I had a boss who essentially propositioned every female who came into his office."
• Best Response: "I'm complimented, but I'd prefer to keep our relationship on a strictly business basis."
• Worst Response: "Great idea! Strip off your clothes and lie face down on your desk. I'll go to my car and fetch my bullwhip."

• Example: "He continued the abuse, following me in the halls and actually interrupting a separate meeting with another client from the same firm, calling me an idiot and other choice words."
• Best Response: "Stop this at once. I am a professional and I expect to be treated like a professional."
• Worst Response: "Excuse me for a second, while I paint 'WELCOME' on my chest and lie down on the floor."

• Example: "When I told him I couldn't give him a big discount, he called my sales manager and tried to negotiate with her instead."
• Best Response: Do nothing. If your manager is supportive, she'll just throw the situation back to you (where it belongs.) Problem solved. If your manager goes ahead and negotiates with the customer, you need to work with your manager to ensure that, next time, the manager doesn't let herself get involved.
• Worst Response: "Hey, my manager told me that you called. Thanks! She gave me a big pat on the back for not giving you that discount."

• Example: "The moment I sense that someone who is selling something to me is trying to employ any of these "tools", I play mind games with them for a while until I get bored. It's great fun watching how the deliberately conflicting clues I provide lead them up one false garden path after the other."
• Best Response: "I sense that we're not really making a connection. Can you help me out by telling me the best way to sell to you?"
• Worst Response: "I know a doctor who's really good at removing giant insects from small dark places."

• Example: "I attended one client meeting where I was the only male at the table. When the client manager walked into the board room her first comment was, 'This could have been so much nicer if it was all women. Oh, well, maybe someday soon'."
• Best Response: Do nothing. The mere fact that the remark was said, and remained unquestioned in the room, shows that in that group the remark was socially acceptable. If you say anything, you'll just be ridiculed.
• Worst Response: "I'm scheduled for my sex change next Tuesday."

• Example: "A customer asked a member of my staff who had just had open neck surgery for a thyroid problem and had quite a nasty scar, 'What happened to you, did you try and hang yourself?'"
• Best Response: Stare at the customer quietly for five seconds without expression, then pointedly change the subject.
• Worst Response: "Actually, yes, I did try to hang myself... right after I found out I was going to have to spend five minutes talking to you."

• Example: "An impatient fellow at the back of the line - one of those 'I'm a businessman, everyone should stay out of my way' narcissist types - decided that he was above waiting with everyone else and physically threw his roll of film at one of the sales clerks. The film bounced off the clerk's head and landed on the floor."
• Best Response: "Excuse me while I call the police, since I've just been assaulted."
• Worst Response: "I hope you have your insurance card on you because you're going to need it."

• Example: "The customer kept passing gas, quite audibly. He didn't even bother to say 'excuse me'."
• Best Response: "My legs feel a little cramped. Do you mind if we continued this discussion while we're walking somewhere?"
• Worst Response: "You think that is loud? Hey, listen to this!"