This Week, From Zero To 80 In 7 Days

What do Britney Spears' 11-month-old son Sean Preston Federline and 80-year-old Playboy founder Hugh Hefner have in common?

They proved this week that age ain't nothing but a number when it comes to making headlines.

Sean Preston was named to Esquire's worst dressed list, even though he's a helpless infant at the mercy of his mom's sometimes misguided fashion choices. His dad, Kevin Federline, announced that Sean Preston took his first steps recently, so the kid may be ready to walk the red carpet on his own soon.

2Hugh Hefner announced this week that he never felt better and denied rumors that he had a mini-stroke. Hef hosted his "Midsummer Night's Dream" party at the Playboy mansion Saturday night and a movie-night gathering the following night.

Twenty-something rivals Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan both made headlines this week for announcing "noble" efforts.

Lohan, 20, told Elle magazine that she'd like to travel to Iraq and entertain the troops just like Marilyn Monroe did in 1954. She expressed her admiration for Monroe and revealed, "It's so amazing seeing that one woman just going somewhere, this beautiful sex kitten, who's basically a pinup, which is what I've always aspired to be."

3Funny how Lohan wants to be a pinup when in reality Monroe wanted to be recognized as a serious actor.

In a dramatic turn of events, 25-year-old Paris Hilton announced that she is celibate and plans to stay that way for a year. She also said she's had sex with only two men in her lifetime and said that in truth she's "very shy."

Thirty-something crisis or reality show jinx? You decide. On Wednesday, musician Travis Barker, 30, and his wife Shanna Moakler, 31 announced they are getting a divorce. The couple starred in the MTV reality show "Meet The Barkers." Then, on Thursday, Carmen Electra, 34, filed for divorce from Dave Navarro, 39. The couple starred in the MTV reality show "Til Death Do Us Part: Carmen + Dave."

Gwyneth Paltrow, 33, had her second child in April and even though she's a celebrity she struggles with getting her body back in shape just like many moms her age. She told Bazaar that anyone who thinks she's perfect "should see the cellulite on my thighs right now."

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Janet Jackson isn't worried about cellulite. The 40-year-old singer, who looks great after losing 60 pounds, posed for the cover of Vibe magazine wearing a barely-there bikini bottom, a shell necklace and not much else.

Jackson has done revealing magazine covers in the past, but does she see a day when she'll start covering up? "Of course. When I'm 80," she tells Vibe. "That's when I'll call it quits."

Actor and funnyman Robin Williams, who up until now had been sober for 20 years, announced in a statement Wednesday that he is seeking treatment for alcoholism after falling off the wagon. The 55-year-old Oscar winner plans to return to work in the fall in support of his upcoming movies.

Ingenue, shmingenue! At 57, Meryl Streep is living proof that leading ladies of any age can draw a crowd. Fans stood on long lines to try and nab free tickets to see the acclaimed actress in "Mother Courage and Her Children" at the Delacorte Theater in New York's Central Park.

5Now that he's 64, Paul McCartney has learned that money can't buy him love — or happiness. The music pioneer, who is said to be worth almost $1.5 billion, is in a bitter divorce battle with his estranged wife, Heather Mills.

Mills reportedly sent a security guard over the wall of McCartney's London home Tuesday after she found the locks changed. Mills has hired the same lawyer that represented Princess Diana in her divorce from Prince Charles. It turns out that McCartney has hired the same lawyer that represented the Prince.

Perhaps the most scandalous headline of the week proved that even someone who's not born yet can make news. That would be the baby expected by "Skating With Celebrities" winners Kristy Swanson and Lloyd Eisler. According to Eisler, he did not begin dating Swanson, his skating partner on the winter TV series, until he had legally separated from his wife — who was eight and a half months pregnant at the time.

By Judy Faber
By Judy Faber