The Pie Who Loved Me
Anyone who's heard anything about the new movie American Pie already knows of the notorious fate suffered by an unsuspecting apple pie.
But the title refers to more than just this incident of pastry and self-pleasure. It positions this flick as the defining statement on American teens. It's a take that's a little disturbing. And wickedly funny.
Like the aforementioned confection, this movie is a guilty treat. But forget the apples, the flour and the butter. This American Pie seems to consist primarily of one ingredient: testosterone.
Sex is all Pie's teens think about. It's all they talk about. All they plot about. Oh sure, you say. Sex is the only thing teens have on their mind. But real kids as sex-obsessed as Pie's could never make it past homeroom each day. Even in Risky Business, where sex weighed heavily on Tom Cruise, he still worried about getting into Princeton.
Yet somehow, despite the shallow, one-track focus of Pie's characters, they still seem remarkably fresh, three-dimensional, and life-like. And the indignities they suffer at the hand of perceptive screenwriter Adam Herz are quite imaginative.
And so sick! In fact, you have to seriously wonder about Herz, director Paul Weitz, his producing brother Chris Weitz, and anyone else who contributed to this story. True, the act of watching scrambled porn, as seen here, is no doubt a national pastime of teen boys, finally exposed on the big screen. But then there's the whole pie thing; beer spiked with...don't even ask; a father who tries to bond with his son over the latest copy of Hustler. What kind of adolescence did these auteurs have?
The frame that holds these bizarre moments together is pretty simple: a group of high school guys decide they must lose their virginity by prom night. In their quest, the teens live out some of the greatest male fantasies…and humiliations.
Headed by a young cast of first-rate non-household names, American Pie strives to be this year's Something About Mary; a Porky's for the new millennium. In fact, Pie is much better and more resonant than either of these no-holds-barred predecessors. How truly amazing it could have been if it had more than just one thing on its mind.
Truth be known, the movie does find some real heart as the zero hour - a.k.a. prom night - approaches. There's even some real romance! One guy discovers he likes to sing!!!
But that's not what everyone will be talking about—and you can bet your dessert they will talk about American Pie. When it comes to this new, demented teen classic, the big after dinner topic will be the really great…er…make that really hysterical…sex.
Written by Rob Medich