The First Mover Advantage in Building Your Network
When experts on building professional networks start to talk, the tone often seems a bit calculating to me. Such as the advice that after meeting someone, follow up within 24 hours with a call or an e-mail saying how happy you were to make their acquaintance, recapping the highlights of your wonderful conversation, noting that <insert name of person's child here> has great parents, and closing with a suggestion that maybe we can do business soon.
Yes, I'm sure these techniques work. But they just leave me a little clammy when written down like an instruction manual for building a bookshelf. But I rather like the sensible idea presented in the HBR.org blog Seize the Persuasive Moment after "Thank You". Steve J. Martin, an expert on the art of persuasion, builds the case for using the "Principle of Reciprocation," which has been explored in depth in the social sciences, when recruiting new people to your network.
In short, this means that when we do someone a favor, they have a psychological imperative to repay us in kind. For Martin, this means we should be "the first to give, in the hope that the recipient will play by the rule and respond accordingly."
The problem with this approach, of course, is that if not handled delicately you will soon be the "I helped you, so now you owe me" person everyone avoids. The art is in how you phrase your response when the person for whom you did the favor offers a thank you. According to Martin, "You should highlight the help and assistance you have given in a specific way that will increase the likelihood that it will be reciprocated fully in the future. " Read his blog for specific ways to accomplish that response.
Calculating, to be sure. But what I like about this approach is that you are doing something of real value for the person as opposed to just writing their name on a node on a network diagram. I would add that you should do your favor with a genuine belief in being helpful and with no assumption of benefit in the future. And I also think the favor must have a real value specific to that person's needs.
Would you feel comfortable using this technique to recruit new people to your support system?
(Photo by Flickr user the Italian voice, CC 2.0)