Step 2: Self-management -- Lifting Your EI

Last Updated Mar 16, 2009 12:14 PM EDT

Knowing the dominant and weak core emotional drives of your temperament is the important first step in lifting your EQ (Emotional intelligence Quotient). However, the second step of learning to control and moderate your core emotional drives is even more important.

In previous blogs I have mentioned that I use the Humm model of temperament of seven drives. (A good summary can be found here.)

A key part of this model is the change of personality as one becomes more mature and integrated into society --- the development of the Normal component. The Normal acts as a stabiliser on the other six components. Those with a strong Normal component are often calm and self composed and appear to have a "flat" personality. Normals love to be part of a group and will use references to other people or precedents as support for an argument. They also prefer the use of logic to emotion and will use the word "logical" in their conversation.

You frequently will see on the web advertisements along the lines of: "Are you good at logic, great at analysis and working out maths problems? Then you're probably a left-brainer.-- Want to get in touch with your intuitive, creative right brain and find a whole other you --?" In other words, the secret of success is to unleash your creativity.

I take the opposite approach. I think too much of our behaviour is driven by our emotions. The Greeks thought the same. The second great commandment of the Delphic Oracle was "Nothing to excess" or sometimes translated as "Everything in moderation."

Of course, moderation can be taken too far. People with excessive self-control will not allow other people blossom and make decisions for themselves. Also, they fail to learn how to relax. You cannot spend your whole time trying to fix the world. Remember the best you can do is good enough.

Are over-emotional people a problem in your workplace?